My husband and I recently traveled to Maui with his family. Let me first say that we were there to celebrate with his sister and her husband on 10 years of marriage. It is such a blessing to have family to spend time with and I am always in favor of celebrating love and relationships. That part was wonderful! However, not everything left me feeling settled and satisfied with our travel choices.
The first night we went to a luau. Everyone was excited to be there, drink their first Mai Tai and be together. Our host was lovely and the dancers were fun to watch. But I couldn’t shake or really pinpoint this very uncomfortable feeling I was having. I thought maybe it was because it all felt very rehearsed and showy or maybe I was just tired from the travel. The next day my husband’s aunt made a very astute observation, we were a sea of white folks being entertained by brown people. The feelings from the night before came rushing in again; that was it!
My husband and I both noticed and openly discussed how white our resort was. Resort stays are not really our jam but again we were there with family. We started paying attention to non-white people we saw who did not work for the hotel. In our week stay we didn’t even count a dozen. We got excited when we saw a small group of black ladies but also wondered what it must feel like to be them. They were upbeat and seemed to be having a good time but if we felt weird about how white our resort was, who knows what it was like for them. Although depending on their experiences in the world those ladies might have been all too used to being the only people of color in their sphere.
With white skin I move through the world mostly undetected. Being in the south of India as a rare group of non-Indians was the most I have ever stood out and it was for good reasons. People wanted to take their picture with us and had smiles a mile wide. Traveling as a woman without a man has raised some eyebrows also but nothing too concerning.
I realize Maui brings in a lot of money through tourism and bolsters its economy in this way, but I wonder, is there a better way? The culture is so rich and while we did get little glimpses of that in our interactions, it was mostly hidden or masked by shows and entertainment. We take full responsibility for not doing a ton of research on the best ways to immerse yourself in Hawaiian culture. I think we figured it would be a toes in the sand, drink in hand kind of trip. To some extent that was our experience but we also felt like we missed out by staying in the land of white tourists.
Ultimately, my husband and I are trying to increase our awareness of white privilege and ways we can avoid engaging in blatant displays of said privilege. We certainly don’t have all the answers but we are trying to ask the questions and make decisions accordingly. Where we spend our time and money makes an impact and says a lot about who we are.
This is not meant to be a criticism of anyone who finds this type of trip blissful. Time off from work is precious and not plentiful enough in America which means sometimes we have to take care of ourselves first. But I do think it’s important for white people to question spaces that do not include people of color and/or make it difficult for them to feel included.
Maui holds some nice memories, including time spent with family, but next time we travel we hope to engage a little more closely with the land and the people as well as choose a place that’s more inclusive of all.
A great family shot at the vow renewal
A delicious Italian dinner
My best attempt at an underwater shot while snorkeling with non-profit org Pacific Whale Foundation