I hit 20 weeks on Wednesday in this pregnancy I wasn’t sure I would ever get the chance to experience. It’s a miracle and I am grateful everyday but it definitely hasn’t been easy. Nausea, vomiting, fatigue and so much anxiety. Just getting through the day has been my goal most of the time. But I would take this over the struggles and sadness of infertility 100 times over. I had hoped since conceiving was so challenging I might have an easy breezy pregnancy, but there have been an abundance of lessons each step of the way and this part of the journey is no different.

I also had an expectation this period of gestation would be magical and creative and beautiful. I have seen small glimmers of this but so far it has mostly been an exercise in survival. But I often remind myself I am creating a life, what is more magical and creative and beautiful than that?!

Honestly most of the time it still feels unreal that I am growing a human after so much disappointment. The moments I really tune into the magic of all of this, I am moved to tears of joy that she chose me and her dad. We have been waiting a long time for her appearance in our lives and we can’t wait to meet her.