How are you always so happy?

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happiness-is-a-way-of-travel-not-a-destinationMy client ended our session with this question last week. I gave them an answer but now that I’ve had more time to think I would add some things. My initial response was that I am not happy all the time. I think times when you feel down can and should be honored. Sadness, anger, irritability have their place and time in life and can be good teachers. The rest of my three-fold answer went something like this:

I practice what I preach, for the most part. When I make suggestions to clients to try certain things to make life more enjoyable it is because I have tried them or do them on a regular basis myself. I am happy because grouchy therapists, although they exist, are not very desirable. When I am working it is part of my job to be encouraging and I gladly take on that role. And, I have a lot to be thankful for in life and focusing on that is an instant mood lifter.

The part I didn’t get to mention, mostly because I was caught off guard, is that when I am working with clients I am doing what I love! Encouraging people to make positive changes in their life and actually seeing the changes happen is an amazing process that I am blessed to be a part of. This was my last client of a long day but I was still feeling great because doing this work makes me happy! While I think happiness can exist wherever you choose it in your life, it sure helps when you are doing something that brings you joy.

I fully believe that happiness is a choice that most of us can make on a regular basis if we learn to get in that habit. We can easily lose sight of happy though and move into angry, bitter, resentful, negative, sad, etc. We start to think that is our new normal and that’s where things can get tricky. The further away we get from happy the harder it can be to find our way back. I think our true nature is happy and that it is available to us all. Even those suffering from very real clinical depression can make choices that will support a better mood. I’m not saying it is easy but it is possible. Start today by infusing your day with things that you know bring you joy. Make time for those things more and more and watch your mood increase. If you don’t know what brings you joy start my trying different things. Read a good book, dance in your living room, spend time outside, play with kids or animals (notice how happy they always are!), try a new hobby, laugh for no reason, create something. The sky is the limit but remember your power and that you have control of your life!

Ceremonial Magic!

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Moon

photo by marema/Shutterstock.com

I started following the cycles of the moon just within the last year or so. Of course, I always knew the moon was up there and would occasionally wonder if it was full based on my feelings or the level of stress and chaos at work. But, I wasn’t really paying attention until recently. What a beautiful thing to be tuned into! Now I can’t imagine not knowing when the moon is new and when it is full.  During this time of awakening and increased awareness I have been a part of many ceremonies surrounding the moon, other changes in nature, and as a result of other spiritual practices (yoga, energy work, chanting).  I will soon get to have the great pleasure of attending my first blessing way to honor a friend having a baby.

I have hosted new moon, full moon and solstice events and am also involved in an ongoing new moon women’s circle. I really love having this in my life and recently realized that this now seems totally normal to me.  I hosted a bonfire for the recent supermoon and we ended up sharing a fire pit with some young girls and one of their boyfriends. I brought some pieces of paper for a releasing ceremony and some flowers to send out into the ocean as a wish. I led all of my friends through this but also invited our new friends to join in. The girls were so cute and really got into it. They commented how spiritual and powerful it felt for them and wondered how I had ever thought of something like this. At that moment I realized what a gift it has been for me to learn more about setting intention, creating ceremonies and being more in touch with the magical qualities of nature. I felt blessed that I could share it with these young girls who no doubt will remember it in the future.

I did not grow up doing things like this and realize that perhaps not many others did either. Aside from church, which I did not grow up going to either, we live in a society where formal ceremonies tend to happen at birth and death with just a few moments in between; weddings, graduations, birthdays. I know there are some exceptions and personally know a few people who grew up honoring life and mother nature regularly, but as a rule we are fairly disconnected. And frankly, those who were more tuned in may not have talked about it for fear of seeming weird.  I now see there is room for ceremony in almost everything and hope that perceptions of this are changing. I have a ritual that I do before and after working with clients, when I wake up, when I am asking for something and when something bad happens to someone I know or to the world. Some of these things are simple and subtle, others are more more complex and involved. And others are just downright playful, like howling at the moon with my sisters; a personal favorite! I try to do all of them with love, reverence and gratitude. I can’t say that I have never been called a weirdo, hippy or even a witch because of it but I don’t mind.

Zsuzsana Budapest, who identifies herself as a feminist witch, offers this definition of a witch:

“A witch is a woman or a man who considers the Earth a living, breathing, conscious being – part of the family of the vast universe – to be regarded and respected as God herself. To be a witch, you have to see yourself as part of God, who is present in, not separate from, us and all living beings” (p57, The Grandmother of Time).

I don’t know about you but this does not at all sound like the witches that most people picture. This definition is beautiful to me and definitely falls in line with beliefs that I have come to understand.  I happily embrace magical ceremonies into my life and look forward to learning more and sharing with others. What ceremonies did you grow up with and how can you bring more magic and nature into your life?

Buddha Breakfast Bowl

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buddha bowl 2This is one of my favorite recipes because it is delicious, easy to make and you can make enough for several days. Oh yeah, and it’s super good for you! 🙂  I like to have it for breakfast but it is really good for any meal. The triple alliteration was just too good to pass up. Credit for this recipe goes to one of my favorite yoga teachers Elena Brower

  • Cook up quinoa, brown rice or any other grain according to the package.
  • Lightly steam kale or other leafy greens.
  • Add any other veggies that are in season to your grains and greens. Pictured is roasted butternut squash but I have added broccoli, zucchini, sweet potato, avocado, cauliflower.
  • Some grilled or baked tempeh makes it a little more hearty.
  • Top with lemon-miso dressing, sesame seeds, seaweed flakes, tapatio, etc.
  • Have fun, mix it up, make it your own!

Lemon-Miso Dressing: caution this stuff is amazing and you may want to put it on everything!!

  • Equal parts (50-150ml depending on how much you want to make) fresh squeezed lemon juice and oil of choice (I usually use olive or grapeseed)
  • One or two heaping spoonfuls of miso paste (white or yellow seem to work the best)
  • I make it in a mason jar and just shake it up
  • You can mix up the citrus that you use as well. I’m pretty partial to lemon though.

*organic is best for all the ingredients, especially the kale and soy products.

I store the ingredients in glass tupperware and make up batches throughout the week. YUM!

Trust…No, I mean really trust

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I started getting interested in and studying energy healing about 3 years ago. I really believe it was always a part of me, and of all of us for that matter, but I seriously started paying attention after having my first Reiki session.  I started reading books, meditating more and took my first Healing Touch class; I studied Reiki a bit later. I was hooked!!!

One of the biggest messages handed down from the founder of Healing Touch is to just “do the work.”  It is a simple lesson in trust and not being attached to the outcome but one that is often hard to incorporate.  When I first started energy work I was excited but also anxious to know more and be able to help people by connecting to divine guidance.  I wanted the heavens to open up and for me to receive clear messages that I could deliver to my clients.  As it turns out, intuition did not work that way for me.  When I would do sessions I would get some information but often it seemed muddy and didn’t make much sense.  Sometimes it would be right on and I would be able to connect it to something obvious but other times I was left wondering.  I learned early on from both my teachers and trial and error that even when it doesn’t make sense you should still bring it up with confidence.  That last part didn’t come easily at first and I would often gently mention something but almost as an afterthought that couldn’t possibly be significant.  Client’s picked up on my lack of assurance and there were times I felt very ineffective.  Side note: energy healing is not only about tapping into intuition and receiving guidance but I thought it was SO cool and really wanted to get it right.

My ability to trust increased as I got more practice and gained more confidence and confirmation in the work that I was doing.  Every time that I was able to confidently share some guidance I received and it was accurate, I trusted a little more.  I would also like to say that I reminded myself daily to be in a space of trust and love.  I knew that only in that space would I be able to do my most effective work.

I have been able to trust in the universe a lot more but I was recently reminded that this is still something for me to work on and maybe always will be.  I have received confirmation in at least three different instances that one of my totem animals is a dove.  A totem animal refers to an animal whose energy is similar to yours and in learning about this animal you can learn more about and better understand yourself.  Animal medicine is very powerful and can be a great aid in healing work.  To learn more check out Ted Andrew’s book Animal Speak.  Anyway, I already knew that this was my totem animal but given a recent opportunity to ask an oracle card reader a question, I asked what my totem animal is.  Now, I could lie to myself and say I was just asking to see if I have any other totem animals but the truth is I was testing it.  Sure enough the reader pulled dove and I proceeded to be in a space of relief and of also wondering why I just couldn’t trust my own intuition.  I tell my clients to do this so how can I still be struggling?!

peace-dove-jenni-robison

Art by Jenni Robison

I realized that if I really seek to trust, then I trust that all of this, even my evolution of trusting and my ongoing occasional doubts, are all perfect!  This has been part of my path and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all the steps along the way.  I continue to work on trusting that all is in perfect order, that my guidance and intuition are meaningful and valuable, that I will manifest things that I desire into my life.  I also trust that I will still need to work on some of the same issues as my clients and that as long as I am constantly striving to be the best person I can be everything is alright!  I still have to remind myself to trust and love but luckily that is one mantra that I don’t think I can ever wear out.  Where can you invite in more trust and love?  Do you still question things and can you honor this as part of your path while striving to trust just a little more than yesterday?

 

Honoring my juicing slump

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I got a juicer for Christmas in 2011 and I became a juicing fool. I would literally plan the night before what I would juice in the morning and get excited about it like it was my outfit for the first day of school. Juicing became a meditative act and I loved the way I could feel my cells vibrate as they absorbed nutrition. When I told my partner that last part I think he probably thought I was losing it! But, it gave me more energy and I couldn’t tell enough people about how much I was loving juicing. I have continued with my juicing on most days since I first got my juicer and it has become a great way to use any leftover veggies from the CSA. There have been days or stretches of days where I haven’t felt like juicing. At first I would try to force myself to want to juice because it is good for me. I have since backed off on that practice because when I was loving my juicing the juice itself was full of love. When I try to force it, I am drinking resentment and obligation!

I haven’t juiced in a few weeks now and I have decided to embrace the break. I know partly it started when I went on vacation and was off my routine but I am also respecting the fact that maybe I don’t need it right now. I was feeling like I was constantly battling off illness for awhile and during that time juice was my constant companion and wellness warrior. I still manage to eat healthy and incorporate a lot of veggies into my diet but I would rather return to juicing when I am happy and excited about it. I’m not saying we can sit on the couch and eat junk as long as we think loving thoughts (although that might work just fine, who knows?!) but I will say it feels good to honor what I need, or don’t need, right now.

On Monday I was up bright and early steaming kale and chopping veggies to have healthy food to eat throughout the week. It did not include any juicing but it felt joyful and it always helps me feel more grounded and prepared to know that I don’t have to worry about making good food throughout the week.

In what ways can you honor your body right now? Are you forcing anything that is not ultimately serving your joy in life? Let it go with a smile! 🙂

healthy food

Healthy food ready to go! Pile for the compost in the background.

 

Leaning into Fear

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Not long ago I wrote about learning to play the harmonium and the path that led me to it.  I am happy to report I have been learning and playing and loving every minute of it! It is hard not to feel blissful after chanting these really beautiful and powerful mantras. The ease in which all of this came into my life affirmed this is what I need right now.

I was feeling very grateful and that all was in perfect order!! That is, until I was asked to play in front of people.  My immediate reaction when my yoga teacher asked if I would play at her yoga teacher training graduation was “I’m not ready!” “What if I screw up?” “I can’t possibly be good enough to have people hear me!”  Luckily this doubt didn’t last long because my highest self stepped in and said “Jesalyn, would you really follow your intuition and the path to bringing this into your life, even when it didn’t make much sense, and then say no to your first gig?!” I had said yes so many times along the way but suddenly being afraid of looking bad or not being ready was going to stop me. I am happy to say that I did play and it was an amazing first experience. I certainly wasn’t perfect but I made mistakes that most people didn’t even notice. Most importantly, I felt supported and loved by everyone around me including the universe. It was an incredibly special moment since this was not just any yoga teacher but my very first ever teacher. I knew her when I was 17 and falling in love with yoga for the first time. I reconnected with her recently and have become a part of her amazing studio.

There are more times in my life than I’d like to recount where I did let fear stand in my way but thankfully this was not one of them. In fact, I will soon play in my dear friend’s yoga class as my second kirtan gig. Am I afraid of that? Yes, absolutely.  But, I am also excited and grateful that I am starting something amazing. I think if we didn’t start before we were ready we might never do anything. I look forward to making mistakes and learning from them but doing so with an open heart and so much joy.

Here’s to living a life where you feel the fear but do it anyway! I leaned into my fear and it was joyful and fulfilling. Who knows what I’ve missed due to fear but I am trying my best to use my fear as a compass to guide me. I’ve learned that fear is usually a good indicator that something amazing is on the other side.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” ~Neale Donald Walsh

me and Jolie

Jolie and I in front of the Ganesha puja

 

Musings on Meat-Eating and Non-Judgement

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I have been a vegetarian for 13 years.  It started in middle school when we started talking about health food and healthy eating.

12 year old me: “Mom, I want to be a vegetarian”

Mom: “That’s nice sweetie. Vegetarians eat vegetables”

And so it went that if I wanted to be a vegetarian I guess I had to start eating vegetables. At that time I think my palate was willing to tolerate tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots with the occasional lettuce with lemon for dressing. I was NOT one of those kids who would eat any vegetable drenched in ranch. I still can’t stand the stuff! My mom was very patient with me and slowly introduced tasty things like stuffed peppers and zucchini, which is still one of the favorites.  I think I can safely say I out eat her in the veggie department now.

I became a full fledged vegetarian in high school after giving up various types of meat in stages; the last to go was fish.  While I will fully admit I was partially motivated in the beginning by thinking this was the “cool” thing to do, I backed up my beliefs and decisions with research and read both of John Robbins’ books on a plant based diet as well as subjected myself ongoing to gnarly factory farming videos.

Fast forward to college where I joined an environmental group on campus with lots of other passionate vegetarians. We felt it was our mission to educate others about the horrors of eating meat or exploiting animals in other ways. This meant handing out pamphlets, wearing t-shifts from PETA, hosting movie screenings and wait for it…protesting outside of a honey baked ham store before Easter. I’m not particularly proud of that one!  I prided myself in being educated and able to give anyone a reason that eating animals was impacting something they loved: the environment, starving children, their health, or the animals themselves.  I really, truly thought that anyone and everyone could and should be a vegetarian if they just knew the facts. It was just the right thing to do! But, in retrospect I know I was mostly being judgmental and shaming even though I meant well.

My take on things has changed quite a bit. I now realize that not every body can live without meat. In an ideal world, we would all eat a plant based diet but my personal year as a vegan left me feeling deprived and looking quite sickly. I have no doubts that I would be a better and healthier vegan now but I choose not to be. I am very happy being a vegetarian who eats cheese and it feels right for me. And, I know all the arguments and research against eating it. I know vegans who I respect and admire very much but I also know people who will chow down on a burger when they want and I love them and their decisions just as much.  I think Michael Pollan said it well, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants”  I am still a huge advocate for a diet that includes lots of fruits and veggies but if you need to throw in a small piece of (hopefully local, organic) meat every now and then I won’t throw pamphlets down your throat or secretly judge you.  In the past, I found myself gasping at stories such as the 20+ year vegetarian who woke up one day and wanted a rare steak but I hope I can continue to honor what my body needs and be open to the idea that it might change.

Please don’t think I am saying I’ve got it all figured out because if I am honest with you I do still cringe, aka judge when I see people eat McDonald’s or feed their kids junk and I sometimes find myself back in that “but, you should be a vegetarian mode.”  The trick is I am getting better about catching myself and just sending love instead.  That’s the shift that has been huge for me. All we are all looking for is love and acceptance. If I can step back and just send love to any individual or situation that gets me all riled up that could make all the difference for everyone. In what area of your life can you send love? Where can you let go a little?  Lots of love, acceptance and honoring your body for all!!

Self-care and Vision Boards

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I called in sick on Monday…

I work part time for a psychiatric hospital and lately I have felt like I am constantly fighting some illness off.  I was attributing echinacea and green juice for keeping me from getting sick but I was also getting a little resentful of my body. “Why won’t you just stay well!?”  It was feeling, and still is to some extent, like I was always going to battle with my body.  I was determined for my mind and energy to win out.  I know I have been more stressed at work lately and that is never a good recipe for staying healthy.  There have been several days that I wanted to stay home but felt guilty or obligated to go in.  I took a good look at those feelings and realized that was not contributing to my wellness either.  Guilt and obligation are pretty low ranking on the vibrational scale.  So, I took the day off to rest and take care of myself.

I made a vision board!!!  I got some construction paper, magazines, scissors and a glue stick and went to town to set intention for what I want in life.  The universe is always listening so I set aside the stress, guilt and obligation and opened my mind and body to all the abundance I know is already mine.  With the help from some inspiration on manifesting from Carmen Marshall I set out to get clear about what I want.  Carmen talks a bit about this but I also incorporated the brilliant teachings of Danielle LaPorte in not only setting goals for things you want in life but most importantly focusing on how you want to FEEL!

My vision board turned out quite nicely and I sure had fun making it.  I haven’t figured out where I will display it yet but I look forward to the daily reminder to take action on what I want and how I want to feel.  I’m actually feeling it already…. 🙂

vision board

Harmonium Happiness

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harmoniumMeet my beautiful, new harmonium!  I felt like a kid in a candy store (or really just me as an adult in a candy store) ordering and excitedly waiting for this baby.  It was September of 2012 that I first thought I might like to sing and play the harmonium. It came to me in a meditation and for about a week I was obsessed with the thought of buying one and learning to play.  Seeing that they are fairly expensive I decided to meditate on whether I should just go ahead and buy one.  The answer was clearly “NO, not right now”.  I have to admit I asked a few times and each time the answer was no. “Really universe? But, I am ready now!” I decided to honor this, trust and just let it go.  Just a few weeks later I reconnected with my very first yoga instructor and starting watching the kids in the yoga childcare in exchange for yoga.  Her space is so welcoming and wonderful I knew it was a good fit when I got there but then I looked over and saw that she had a harmonium and a huge smile came across my face.

“You have a harmonium!?!”

“Yes” she says “you can play it anytime you like”

I never did play it because frankly I didn’t know much about how to play and was a little intimidated.  It was still on my mind a bit and I liked a few pages on Facebook to keep myself in the loop on all things kirtan.  Fast forward to January of this year when I saw a Facebook post about an organization called The Call and Response Foundation. They were giving away a scholarship to a kirtan retreat in New Hampshire with harmonium lessons included!  I was at work and immediately sent off this email.

“My name is Jesalyn and I am a health care practitioner in San Diego. I do individual psychotherapy focused on mind-body integration. I am also a reiki master and do Healing Touch (both hands-on energy healing). I teach laughter yoga and my goal is to learn more about herbal medicine this year. I pride myself in offering a holistic perspective to wellness. I also happen to be a singer. I have sang all my life mostly for fun but also in weddings, for banquet events and now in the past year have started singing with a band. I hid my singing talent for the most part only letting it come out when prompted but I was shy. I never tell my clients that I sing or use it in a healing way.

Just last year I started considering learning to play the harmonium or rather it called to me in a meditation! I really looked into buying one but wanted to make sure it was the right thing since they are expensive. I have a non-profit in its beginning stages aimed at bringing healing modalities to all people especially those with trouble accessing them. My business partner is a yoga instructor and I had the vision of us bringing yoga and chanting to the masses in San Diego. I am finally ready to use my voice for healing and inspiration and I would absolutely love to attend this conference. I am familiar with call and response and have experienced it in yoga and at yoga festivals. It is truly moving to me and I would love to learn to share this with others. Please consider me for your scholarship. Thank you in advance for your consideration. Much love and light!”

I figured my chances were slim but I was contacted almost right away and offered the scholarship!  I had just received a gift card to southwest for my birthday and that covered most of my plane ticket.  I couldn’t believe how effortless it all came together but then again that effortlessness was the key to knowing it was the exact thing I needed.  It was the most amazing and life changing weekend.  It felt as if every moment of my life led me to that weekend and those moments singing and dancing and learning harmonium.  And while I truly believe all things happen for a reason and in perfect timing, I actually felt this to my core like I have with only a few other things. I met some amazing people who unfortunately all live on the East Coast, thank goodness for Facebook!

So, I returned with the harmonium bug and before I knew it I had found one on eBay and it was headed my way. I haven’t even had it a week but it was love at first site and I can’t wait to learn more.  I did not originally intend to write about all the serendipitous events that led me to my shiny new toy but I think it needed to get out and so again, all is perfect!

30 day Meditation Challenge

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meditationToday marks the start of a 30 day meditation challenge I am embarking upon with my partner.  I came across a project produced by one of my favorite yoga teachers, Elena Brower.  She along with several others are featured as they tell how meditation changed their lives.  This project is currently seeking funding through Kickstarter and they hope to make meditation more accessible for all by donating copies of the movie to schools, hospitals and other establishments who would benefit from meditation being de-mystified.  I feel I am already privy to the bliss that one can feel after meditating as well as how life affirming and life altering it can be, but I am out of practice.  I currently meditate before my sessions with clients and ask for guidance and that I will be able to help them but I am out of practice for myself.  I look forward to checking in daily with myself and my higher power to work on what I need right now and to observe other shifts that come as a result.  My boyfriend and I are also taking video of our journey which I will share along the way.  I started with meditation this morning not knowing that later in the day I would be feeling pulled to return to my cushion to send love and prayers to those affected by the incident at the Boston Marathon.  I can’t help but think that if everyone had a meditation practice the world would be a more peaceful place. For now I choose to start with me, the only person I can change.