Category Archives: Call to Action

Some Masks We Should Never Wear

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On Saturday, my husband and I got invited to a fun Halloween party. We were super excited because it’s the first time we have had the chance to really dress up and go somewhere fun since we moved up North. The place was decorated, people were costumed, food and drinks were abundant and a live band was starting up.

I first saw this guy’s costume from behind and only noticed the afro and the Kaepernick jersey. I thought maybe he was honoring the fact that he started the take a knee movement, sounds alright to me. And then I saw him from the front and once my nearsighted eyes focused without my glasses, I noticed that he had painted his face black. What year is this? Haven’t people learned that it’s usually not ok to dress up as another race, culture, gender, etc. Especially when your intent is to poke fun or comment on sensitive current events.

But I’m not choosing to share because there are still clueless people out there, I guess that is not really a surprise. I want to share how I, as a well meaning person who believes in equal treatment for all, did not know what to do in this situation. It was clearly wrong and yet most everyone, including me, went on with the party. This dude was allowed to come into the event, (as it turns out he was good friends with the owner) the band didn’t come to a screeching halt when he made his entrance and he appeared to have a date and people who were willing to be around him as well.

It’s not that I didn’t consider saying something. I’m normally outspoken, often saying what’s on my mind to a fault including standing up for others. A well loved high school teacher said something extremely racist in class one day. It was directed at a fellow classmate and I called him out on the spot. He did not take kindly to this and disliked me for the rest of the school year but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I have also called out my grandparents (does anyone have grandparents who aren’t racist?) and sometimes my own parents for saying something off color.

My working plan was to confront this guy on the way out by casually letting him know his costume was not appropriate. The why of my not going right up to him and telling him in the moment was that we were with my friend for a work related party. I didn’t want to be the one who caused trouble or made her look bad. I also heard her tell her husband not to say anything. But honestly those are just excuses. When something isn’t right you should call it out no matter the consequences.

As it turned out my friend ended up confronting him when it became clear that no one was going to step up. As one of few black people at the party, she did not feel that it was right to leave without making it clear that this guy had overstepped to say the least. Although she was not the only one appalled, she was sadly in the minority. Many people, including the party’s host, brushed it off noting that it was supposed to be funny.

I noticed them connecting and thought perhaps it was going well. As I saw it start to take a turn with raised voices and unfriendly stares, I instinctively moved in closer but still said nothing. We left the party following this incident and later that night back at home, my husband and I wondered if we should have done more.

The short answer is yes, we should always speak up when something isn’t right. Perhaps it’s more complicated than that although I don’t think it should be. Why did we just go back to dancing and having fun after this guy cruised in with a disgusting display of privilege and complete lack of respect? Why was it that a black individual ended up being the one to speak out? And why was I more worried about looking bad or being difficult than standing up for my friend? I’m still asking myself this, and while I don’t have all the answers, I hope I keep asking the questions as long as it takes.

My friend said she didn’t intend to confront him at first and perhaps if her husband and we as her friends had not been there she might not have had the courage. I have to trust that our presence meant something and next time I have to do better. We all can do better.

A Return to Love

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I read A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson for the first time in 2012. I have since read it again and likely not for the last time. I can distinctly remember the shift my brain had to make to integrate the idea that our nature is love, and anything that does not look like love is just a request for more love. It certainly made sense on a fundamental level but this is not the message we get in everyday life, so it took some getting used to.

Last night I got to see Marianne speak in Santa Cruz. It was really wonderful but she was actually quite different in person than I expected. Her speech was a fiery sermon aimed to get us worked up about the times we live in right now. She said that it’s not the first time society has strayed outside of what is moral and ethical but let us not be the first people in history to do nothing about it.

Of course we have to take action to make change, but the predictable plot twist is that it has little to do with others and everything to do with ourselves. It all comes back to us. How can we be more loving, more accepting, more devoted. “get the message IN first”. Then and only then can we collectively make the shifts that are needed. She addressed the need for the spiritual community to get more involved in politics so that the needle can be moved in the right direction.

Her ability to share perspectives and address human concerns was so highly skillful it was just an honor to witness. And as much as she is all about love, she is also about being straightforward and encouraging personal responsibility.

She called a few people out during the Q & A portion in a way that had me clapping in agreement, but also left me wondering if I would have been crying had I been in their shoes. One of these moments that stuck with me the most was when a woman shared difficulty in living with her father. She reported he brought “negative male energy” into the house. “This has to stop right now” Marianne said “that is not nice to men and it’s NOT ok”, I appreciate that she named this epidemic of putting men down.

But of course there is also the other side of the coin where women are still suppressed on so many levels. She said “let women speak in declarative sentences and say what they want”. She addressed the high incidence of depression in women and that if we are actually paying attention it makes perfect sense that we are depressed.

She encouraged us to always look for the lesson and where you could have reacted with more love. Can we make it our practice to send love to everything and everyone to overcome the hate that exists right now. This does not mean we blindly put up with everything in the name of love though. She said it’s time for us to own our yes and own our no. “Love always gives the loving response and sometimes the response is no”

Practice is key! Start in the morning, fill your consciousness with light and pray to the God of your own understanding to be of service. “Everything you do is your ministry”. As the Course in Miracles says: Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say and to whom?

My girlfriends and I stood in line for her book signing. I didn’t have anything for her to sign but I joined in a photo we requested. At the very end there was a moment where she made direct eye contact (the type of gaze that made me feel like she really saw me) and I said thank you so much. I immediately remembered something from a part of her speech where she said that when you are on this path and leading a life of love and purpose, there is a light in your eyes. Other people who have it, recognize it, and people who don’t have it want to know where you got it.

Ever a work in progress, I’m so grateful to be doing the best I can each day, making practice a priority and fully experiencing all the parts of life. And as Marianne said “It’s not over ’til the happy part”

Rooster Call to Action

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We just entered the year of the Rooster in the Chinese calendar and what amounts to a second new year. I don’t know about you but it was comforting to know that new beginning are always possible. 2017 is off to a rocky start but the rooster is here to remind us that we have to speak up and take action. Wake up he says! Follow the direction of your heart and don’t become complacent.

In numerology 2017 is a 1 year which signifies the start of a new cycle. The messiness of 2016 can be explained (at least in part) by the mischievousness of the fire monkey and the conclusion of a 9 year cycle. Whatever we set the intention for in this year will continue to grow over the next 9 years.

1 is also the number of the Magician in Tarot and invites us to trust in our creativity and power to live the life of our dreams. We all have the opportunity to succeed in whatever we set our minds to. Believe it and then do it! This is not a time to sit back and watch.

The Rooster’s role is to confidently take care of the flock and ensure the future generation. The Magician, a true healer, sees the potential for magic in all things. Can we do the same even in the face of turmoil?

Dream. Crow. Create. Repeat.

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