Sound Healing for Peace

Lately things in the world and in my own life have felt heavy. As much as I love NPR, I just couldn’t listen to one more story in my car about the state of things. So, one day I put on my favorite kirtan singer Devadas and just belted out the divine names along with him. Immediately tears streamed down my face and I remembered what it is to be connected.

I have had some profound sound healing experiences. My first kirtan with Devadas is one of those pivotal moments. He introduced me to the world of kirtan and I made it a point to see many other artists after learning about this type of music. Three years later when I saw Devadas again I was moved beyond words. I literally couldn’t stop the flood of tears that rushed out upon hearing his first bhajan.

Music has always moved me. My dad sang and played the guitar with me when I was little,  I’ve had a rich appreciation for musicals since I was young, and concerts were a way that my single mom and I got to connect and spend time together. I come from a family of singers and we can often be found enjoying an evening of karaoke.

All of the women’s circles I lead include a closing song and sometimes one at the beginning and middle also. Newcomers are sometimes taken aback when I introduce group singing but more often than not it becomes their favorite part of our gathering.

Sound moves and heals. Not just through music and song either. While living in San Jose I got to experience the crystal singing bowls. My first sound bath was pretty magical and I love seeing group sound healings become popular in the community.

Sound alone can be so healing but I think we also need community to be part of this equation. I can sing and cry in my car but the moments that I have felt such deep reverence for life and source were the moments I was experiencing sound with others. That concert when everyone is singing along, the call and response chanting, the sing alongs with dad and his guitar, they are all moments of being seen.

And when I listen to Devadas or Suzanne Sterling (another favorite is her album of ritual chants) in my car, it’s because I have had an in person experience that moved me. It’s that moment of feeling seen and being connected to something bigger than myself that I call on.

I can’t wait to be part of the Singing Sirens Women’s Retreat where the whole weekend will be focused on curating moments of connection to self and the power of sound. Join us at Terra Madra in Escondido June 14-16. Check out more details including various ticketing options HERE. I’ll be teaching on Sunday morning using asana, breath, mantra and mudra.

And next time you just can’t listen to another news story, turn on your favorite song and sing along as loud as you can. Get back to me on how you feel afterwards.

photo by Darci Fontenot

photo by Darci Fontenot

Life Lessons from Yoga by the Sea

For 2 months this summer I had the great fortune of attending and playing harmonium in a yoga class at Sunset Cliffs led by my friend Renee Gauthier. It was absolutely lovely and something I looked forward to each week. The class will go through the end of September but I leave to travel soon and had my last class this week. Here are some things I learned or was reminded of about myself and life:

Everything happens for a reason and all in perfect time – I connected with Renee through my job but also discovered that she taught at the yoga studio where I practiced. If we had not met in the way we did, our paths still would have crossed. When I reached out to her to play in one of her classes she was creating the details for this event and thinking that she would like to have some live music. She said I texted her literally in the moment she was thinking about how great it would be to have live music in class. There are no coincidences!

Yoga + Ocean = Cure ALL – No matter how stressful my day was that day it all melted away as soon as I got to the water and got on my mat.

I don’t visit the water nearly enough – Why, oh why not? It’s so close and so beautiful. See above for more reasons why I should.

People want to share powerful life experiences – It was so fun to see how many people brought someone with them. Friends, neighbors, visiting family members all showed up to share yoga on the water in our beautiful city.

Change is constant – Each week the ocean and weather was different. Some days were clear and calm, others choppy and overcast. We had sunshine, cold, and even some slight drizzle. My body was different each week as well. Some days I felt strong and could do more challenging poses, other days I had to take it easy or could barely keep my balance.

Life is a learning process and mistakes are inevitable – I have only been playing harmonium for a few months and these classes were my biggest audiences yet. I am having a blast and loving every minute but I’m still a beginner and that means I screw up. It was a good opportunity to be able to recover from my mistake and keep playing. I got to practice this a lot 🙂

Put yourself out there anyway – If I was being cautious, which I definitely have been many times in my life, I would have waited until I felt more confident playing and singing to perform for people. But, I made the conscious decision early on to really jump feet first into this. I plan to work toward applying this to other areas of my life. There is just too much to lose when you hold back!

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Leaning into Fear

Not long ago I wrote about learning to play the harmonium and the path that led me to it.  I am happy to report I have been learning and playing and loving every minute of it! It is hard not to feel blissful after chanting these really beautiful and powerful mantras. The ease in which all of this came into my life affirmed this is what I need right now.

I was feeling very grateful and that all was in perfect order!! That is, until I was asked to play in front of people.  My immediate reaction when my yoga teacher asked if I would play at her yoga teacher training graduation was “I’m not ready!” “What if I screw up?” “I can’t possibly be good enough to have people hear me!”  Luckily this doubt didn’t last long because my highest self stepped in and said “Jesalyn, would you really follow your intuition and the path to bringing this into your life, even when it didn’t make much sense, and then say no to your first gig?!” I had said yes so many times along the way but suddenly being afraid of looking bad or not being ready was going to stop me. I am happy to say that I did play and it was an amazing first experience. I certainly wasn’t perfect but I made mistakes that most people didn’t even notice. Most importantly, I felt supported and loved by everyone around me including the universe. It was an incredibly special moment since this was not just any yoga teacher but my very first ever teacher. I knew her when I was 17 and falling in love with yoga for the first time. I reconnected with her recently and have become a part of her amazing studio.

There are more times in my life than I’d like to recount where I did let fear stand in my way but thankfully this was not one of them. In fact, I will soon play in my dear friend’s yoga class as my second kirtan gig. Am I afraid of that? Yes, absolutely.  But, I am also excited and grateful that I am starting something amazing. I think if we didn’t start before we were ready we might never do anything. I look forward to making mistakes and learning from them but doing so with an open heart and so much joy.

Here’s to living a life where you feel the fear but do it anyway! I leaned into my fear and it was joyful and fulfilling. Who knows what I’ve missed due to fear but I am trying my best to use my fear as a compass to guide me. I’ve learned that fear is usually a good indicator that something amazing is on the other side.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” ~Neale Donald Walsh

me and Jolie

Jolie and I in front of the Ganesha puja

 

Harmonium Happiness

harmoniumMeet my beautiful, new harmonium!  I felt like a kid in a candy store (or really just me as an adult in a candy store) ordering and excitedly waiting for this baby.  It was September of 2012 that I first thought I might like to sing and play the harmonium. It came to me in a meditation and for about a week I was obsessed with the thought of buying one and learning to play.  Seeing that they are fairly expensive I decided to meditate on whether I should just go ahead and buy one.  The answer was clearly “NO, not right now”.  I have to admit I asked a few times and each time the answer was no. “Really universe? But, I am ready now!” I decided to honor this, trust and just let it go.  Just a few weeks later I reconnected with my very first yoga instructor and starting watching the kids in the yoga childcare in exchange for yoga.  Her space is so welcoming and wonderful I knew it was a good fit when I got there but then I looked over and saw that she had a harmonium and a huge smile came across my face.

“You have a harmonium!?!”

“Yes” she says “you can play it anytime you like”

I never did play it because frankly I didn’t know much about how to play and was a little intimidated.  It was still on my mind a bit and I liked a few pages on Facebook to keep myself in the loop on all things kirtan.  Fast forward to January of this year when I saw a Facebook post about an organization called The Call and Response Foundation. They were giving away a scholarship to a kirtan retreat in New Hampshire with harmonium lessons included!  I was at work and immediately sent off this email.

“My name is Jesalyn and I am a health care practitioner in San Diego. I do individual psychotherapy focused on mind-body integration. I am also a reiki master and do Healing Touch (both hands-on energy healing). I teach laughter yoga and my goal is to learn more about herbal medicine this year. I pride myself in offering a holistic perspective to wellness. I also happen to be a singer. I have sang all my life mostly for fun but also in weddings, for banquet events and now in the past year have started singing with a band. I hid my singing talent for the most part only letting it come out when prompted but I was shy. I never tell my clients that I sing or use it in a healing way.

Just last year I started considering learning to play the harmonium or rather it called to me in a meditation! I really looked into buying one but wanted to make sure it was the right thing since they are expensive. I have a non-profit in its beginning stages aimed at bringing healing modalities to all people especially those with trouble accessing them. My business partner is a yoga instructor and I had the vision of us bringing yoga and chanting to the masses in San Diego. I am finally ready to use my voice for healing and inspiration and I would absolutely love to attend this conference. I am familiar with call and response and have experienced it in yoga and at yoga festivals. It is truly moving to me and I would love to learn to share this with others. Please consider me for your scholarship. Thank you in advance for your consideration. Much love and light!”

I figured my chances were slim but I was contacted almost right away and offered the scholarship!  I had just received a gift card to southwest for my birthday and that covered most of my plane ticket.  I couldn’t believe how effortless it all came together but then again that effortlessness was the key to knowing it was the exact thing I needed.  It was the most amazing and life changing weekend.  It felt as if every moment of my life led me to that weekend and those moments singing and dancing and learning harmonium.  And while I truly believe all things happen for a reason and in perfect timing, I actually felt this to my core like I have with only a few other things. I met some amazing people who unfortunately all live on the East Coast, thank goodness for Facebook!

So, I returned with the harmonium bug and before I knew it I had found one on eBay and it was headed my way. I haven’t even had it a week but it was love at first site and I can’t wait to learn more.  I did not originally intend to write about all the serendipitous events that led me to my shiny new toy but I think it needed to get out and so again, all is perfect!