Sound Healing for Peace

Posted on May 31, 2019 by jesalynjae

Lately things in the world and in my own life have felt heavy. As much as I love NPR, I just couldn’t listen to one more story in my car about the state of things. So, one day I put on my favorite kirtan singer Devadas and just belted out the divine names along with him. Immediately tears streamed down my face and I remembered what it is to be connected.

I have had some profound sound healing experiences. My first kirtan with Devadas is one of those pivotal moments. He introduced me to the world of kirtan and I made it a point to see many other artists after learning about this type of music. Three years later when I saw Devadas again I was moved beyond words. I literally couldn’t stop the flood of tears that rushed out upon hearing his first bhajan.

Music has always moved me. My dad sang and played the guitar with me when I was little, I’ve had a rich appreciation for musicals since I was young, and concerts were a way that my single mom and I got to connect and spend time together. I come from a family of singers and we can often be found enjoying an evening of karaoke.

All of the women’s circles I lead include a closing song and sometimes one at the beginning and middle also. Newcomers are sometimes taken aback when I introduce group singing but more often than not it becomes their favorite part of our gathering.

Sound moves and heals. Not just through music and song either. While living in San Jose I got to experience the crystal singing bowls. My first sound bath was pretty magical and I love seeing group sound healings become popular in the community.

Sound alone can be so healing but I think we also need community to be part of this equation. I can sing and cry in my car but the moments that I have felt such deep reverence for life and source were the moments I was experiencing sound with others. That concert when everyone is singing along, the call and response chanting, the sing alongs with dad and his guitar, they are all moments of being seen.

And when I listen to Devadas or Suzanne Sterling (another favorite is her album of ritual chants) in my car, it’s because I have had an in person experience that moved me. It’s that moment of feeling seen and being connected to something bigger than myself that I call on.

I can’t wait to be part of the Singing Sirens Women’s Retreat where the whole weekend will be focused on curating moments of connection to self and the power of sound. Join us at Terra Madra in Escondido June 14-16. Check out more details including various ticketing options HERE. I’ll be teaching on Sunday morning using asana, breath, mantra and mudra.

And next time you just can’t listen to another news story, turn on your favorite song and sing along as loud as you can. Get back to me on how you feel afterwards.

photo by Darci Fontenot

photo by Darci Fontenot

Yoga for Trauma

Posted on March 25, 2019 by jesalynjae

I am a therapist and a yoga teacher and it’s very interesting to watch my two worlds come together. We are discovering that it’s hard to talk about yoga without including some aspects of psychology and the mind. It’s also exceedingly difficult to heal trauma without involving the body.

Next month I will lead my second 6 week series on Yoga for Trauma Healing. The interest has been high and the course is sold out. I am in the process of finding out a way to offer this on a regular basis to meet the needs of the community and because I believe in this work. I am also exploring how to make this more accessible for all who are interested in doing this healing work.

You may be hearing a lot of talk about trauma both in the media and in the wellness community. It’s sort of a hot button topic right now and there are good reasons for this.

Researchers are gathering more and more information about how our brain and body remembers, stores and processes traumatic incidents. The saying “the issues are in our tissues” is a quick way to illustrate what we are finding; the body never forgets. So it makes sense that the body oriented interventions are being proven most effective at targeting trauma.

As far as I am concerned, no one who is having a human experience will ever escape trauma. The definition is far more broad than most of us think and this means that we all have some level of trauma that we can work to heal.

I am grateful I get to hold space for individuals working to heal trauma both in this group series and in the individual work that I do with people. But, this also means that I have to be aware of my own traumas.

When I say all humans have some level of trauma, this certainly applies to practitioners supporting people to heal trauma too. Some of us have even more work to do so that we can be grounded enough to show up for others.

Another piece of the trauma puzzle that cannot be ignored is that of race and other social justice issues. As a white woman I have work to do in not only acknowledging my own privilege but also in recognizing all the ways trauma can present itself due to inequalities in our society.

I’m thankful to see the amount of discussion that is being generated around trauma but this also means we have to meet it with just as much if not more discernment. Listen to your own intuition about exploring this with a practitioner. Trauma work is sensitive work and should be approached with the utmost care.

Cheers Wisdom

Posted on June 28, 2018 by jesalynjae

It’s been three months since my husband and I moved back to San Diego. Catching up with family and friends and eating lots of good food has occupied our time. We have even gotten to see some San Jose friends who made the trip down for one reason or another. It finally feels real that we are home.

I was recently reminded of the importance of being seen and how settling that feels to my system. One Saturday night we went to a concert where a friend was playing. It was expected that we would run into people who also know this badass percussionist (check them out – Golden Hour) but I also encountered not one but two other friends from completely different areas of my life. The first time it happened it was sweet and unexpected, but during the warm embrace of the second encounter I was reminded that we do just want to go where everybody knows our name. At least I do.

For those of you who remember the series Cheers, the theme song lyrics stated “sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name….and they’re always glad you came” But the show was also known for a repeated scene when a regular customer would walk in and be greeted by a stereo of voices calling his name…”Norm!”

When I moved to San Jose it was one of the losses I felt most strongly when we first arrived. I didn’t know anyone. I considered it a great success when I ran into someone I knew from yoga at the grocery store. That simple act of recognition made my heart sing.

I realize this may not be the case for everyone. I’m first to admit that I have recognized someone I know in public and gone out of my way to not be seen by them. For some that may be a feeling they get across the board. There are multiple reasons why someone might not like to be seen but for me it creates a soothing feeling, a reassurance, a sense of community that goes a long way.

My heart aches for the families who are being separated at the border. To think about the impact of being torn from your caregivers and sent to a place where you see no familiar faces. I suspect the effects will be long lasting. I pray for their swift reunion and peace through the process. I also donated to organizations devoted to helping this cause. I wish I could do more or more importantly that it never happened in the first place.

Because the fact of the matter is, we are all connected. Ideally, each face we look into should mirror parts of ourselves. Even if we don’t see someone we know personally, their common humanity should shine back at us. I am certain this is where we come from on a soul level…I hope it’s where we are headed back to. For now I will enjoy the sweet bliss of the “Cheers effect” and make efforts to do the same for others.

Happy to be back by the ocean. SD beaches are the best!

Thank You San Jose!

Posted on March 30, 2018 by jesalynjae

Three and a half years ago I found my way to San Jose. Just this week we moved back to San Diego. My husband and I took a leap for his job and decided to relocate to the land of tech opportunity. Much of the past few years have not unfolded the way we thought they might, but nonetheless it’s been perfect. As I close one chapter and step into another I would like to express my gratitude for the experience. I was born and raised in San Diego and had never lived anywhere else, so this was a big change for me. But San Jose delivered on many levels and made our time there sweet and memorable.

Some of the things that I will hold dear about this experience include:

The break I got to take from working. I was pretty burnt out when we moved and taking a year+ off of my social worker duties allowed me to heal and get back in with a lot more passion and heart.

My community! The first thing I did when I arrived was set up a meetup to gather women together. This started at my house, expanded to the local yoga studio and then turned into a podcast. Not only did I meet some of the most amazing women but I also solidified a new career path and passion. I am forever grateful to the goddesses I was graced with.

Yoga, all the yoga! The Bay Area definitely delivers in quality yoga classes and trainings. I was so blessed to get to participate in some rad yoga education opportunities. If you know me, you know learning is one of my favorite things and learn I definitely did.

The trees! When we first arrived I was in awe of all the different types of trees that the Bay offers. San Diego is somewhat limited to the palm varietal and a few eucalyptus so the beautiful trees were a real sight to me. Not only do you see trees everywhere you go but there are gorgeous state parks and natural reserves to explore. My husband and I went camping for the first time up there and also spent many weekends journeying around the area.

Our friends. We actually knew one couple up there from San Diego and I had some high school & college friends, but otherwise everyone we met came into our lives over these past few years. I crave social contact in the form of quality relationships and we met some really awesome folks. Fortunately most people are interested in visits to San Diego so I am looking forward to showing them all the good Mexican food 😉

Financial security and debt relief. Honestly money was one of the driving factors of our decision to move. My husband had a lot of school debt and felt capped in his earning potential in San Diego. So while we do not believe money solves everything, we knew alleviating some debt now would set us up for a better future. We were able to pay off my husband’s student loans (so huge!) and save to hopefully buy a house in San Diego. This is such a gift!

My husband. This one is not specific to San Jose but our time here did illuminate even more why I love this guy. We were not married yet when we first moved, so living in San Jose made me a wife. Also, it was at my husband’s absolute insistence that made me agree to take a break from working (I guess he was tired of stressed out crying Jesalyn) This allowed me to be a house wife for a time, which I actually liked quite a bit. It also allowed me to eventually find a job that I was really passionate about.

I never would have predicted that I would leave San Diego but I am so happy that I did. It reminded me how important family is (I missed everyone so much!) and not to take for granted all the wonders that exist in my hometown (delicious food and beautiful beaches are the two I missed the most!) And now I have a home away from home that I can visit.

Abundant & Held

Posted on December 31, 2017 by jesalynjae

For the past 5 years or so I have chosen two words to represent my year. I actually do it intuitively, so I feel it’s safe to say the words choose me. A few weeks before the year they sort of just land somewhere in my consciousness (usually early in the morning, while I’m in the shower or some other quiet moment) And then I just get to wait and see how they unfold. I keep the words near me, in my car, on my altar, or in my phone so I see them often. Here’s how 2017 went down.

Abundant

Having enough and often more than enough was a theme this year. I started the year with an abundance of jobs. While it was helpful to our family and I was grateful for this, not all of them served me. It’s always a nice feeling to have enough of everything which I know is far from true for so many people. My husband and I and some friends of ours participated in the women’s march which was an amazing experience. It definitely included an abundance of people (across the world!) showing up for all the right reasons. When a nation elects a man who has so little respect for women and many other groups of people, it’s nice to see that we can fight back with our numbers and our passion. A huge accomplishment and act of abundance that occurred this year was that we paid off my husband’s student loans. This was a debt that was constantly nagging at him (those of you with school debt, or any debt for that matter can probably relate) and he often felt like he would be paying them off forever. It was an act of abundance to pay them and continues to give us abundance in other areas. To me a life well lived includes traveling but I know that this requires an abundance of resources. Many years back my then boyfriend and I opened a bank account specifically for travel and it has served us well over the years. This year brought a trip to Thailand to check in with my husband’s Chinese teachers, some local trips near the Bay Area, back to San Diego to see family, Texas for a family wedding, and a summer trip with my mom (I LOVE our weekend getaways). I am also so grateful to have access to an abundance of amazing trainings and the ability to take part in them. This year, I took a three day training in Somatic Experiencing and Yoga which landed right in my soul and represented the work I do exactly. I finally got to take the 5 day leadership training with Off the Mat, Into the World, which has been on my list for some time and was able to make time for countless other local trainings (mostly yoga related). I am a hungry student always seeking knowledge and I am so lucky to be living in a time and place in the world where I can access information so readily. I also led full and sold out trainings, workshops, circles and retreats and got to join the Conscious San Jose movement through free summer meditations and teaching at the first annual yoga and music festival all of which were a great joy. To me living with the concept of abundance means that we truly trust that there is enough to go around for all. I try to practice this by not grasping at what is not mine be it students, income, jobs or opportunities. If it is meant for me, it won’t pass me by.

Held

Admittedly this is a sort of funny word to choose but as I am unpacking it, I realize how perfect it is because it holds so many meanings. To have or keep, to reserve or retain, to bear, sustain or support, to keep in a specified state, to engage in, to detain and to keep from action. To me it also feels like a hug, a softness and a warmth and maybe a kick in the butt sometimes too. I have experienced many different versions of this in 2017. I have been held in so many community spaces this year. My women’s circles and podcast community, the yoga studio and the group practice where I work and all the beautiful people I met and connected with in my teachings and trainings. I feel so nourished and held by some amazing and supportive hands and hearts. I felt so held in my practices this year. I actually spent less time sitting and more time moving which was lovely. I spent a lot of time with my favorite teacher Elena Brower on YogaGlo and in her Elevate Mentorship. The two years prior I was fortunate enough to spend time with her in person but the online community for which I am plugged into has been very nourishing and has lovingly encouraged me to hold the seat of an artist. I held another new role as clinical supervisor in my work and that was an extremely fruitful experience for me personally and professionally. We also celebrated by being held in a sweat lodge ceremony after my supervisee passed her licensing test. That was an exercise in facing the fear of claustrophobia and the unknown (spoiler: I didn’t make it the whole time but I’m so proud for doing it!). And sometimes to be held is to be held accountable and I found that this year as well. My husband had to sit me down and inform me that I was not walking my walk when it came to being kind and loving towards all. I was getting wrapped up in the hatred for our elected officials (one in particular) and finding comfort in unkind words and comedy at the expense of others. That was a harsh truth and I cried hot tears of acknowledgement and then made an effort to unfollow some pages (sorry Trevor Noah) and watch my language carefully. My husband and I had to hold ourselves accountable when we did not speak up against hatred towards another group. This was a huge lesson and one that did not go unnoticed by us. I furthered this self inquiry in my training with Off the Mat, Into the World where I sat for 5 days being held by the reality that I have more privilege than most. It had me asking how will I be more engaged and of service. It is my job, at least in part, to hold a little more weight in this world simply because I can. I have been held in so much joy and just as much sadness. I found unbridled joy in the embodied practices of singing and dancing, lunches with my husband, travel, nature and time with friends and family. I continue to be held in the sadness of waiting to grow our family, the state of our world and the unimaginable suffering people are enduring daily. I was held in the limbo of anesthesia for a small surgery (so trippy to my adult self since age 5 was my one and only time being under), and held by those things that were not meant for me this year. Through all of it I tried to hold onto hope that even when it seems dire or when nothing makes sense, we are all held by each other and the fact that we are separate but intricately connected. And that ultimately, we are all held by the Great Mother herself.

2017 was far from perfect but I take great honor in not only living this life but also taking the time to acknowledge the journey, the path and the lessons.

It’s funny because I usually don’t waver when my words come to me but this year I am struggling. A few weeks back Clarity and Transformation came through so I wrote them down and then a day or so after that I wrote (Nourishment?) next to it. This morning I drew the butterfly card so I know Transformation is where it’s at but do I want a crystal clear path or do I want to feel cozy and supported along the way? I’ll have to sit with that but I think I know the answer. May your 2018 bring all that you hope for and more. It’s the year of the Dog which I recently learned is me…I always thought I belonged to the year of the boar but because I’m a January baby, I fit in the cycle before my birth year.

My best nine from Instagram @jesalyneatchel

My best nine from Instagram @wildishwisewomen

Busy But Blessed

Posted on September 30, 2017 by jesalynjae

There was an article floating around awhile back that talked about how being busy has become a badge of honor. We live in a society where something is always going on. While I enjoyed the thoughtfulness of the article and agree with the precise, I still find myself busy a lot of the time. My awareness has increased and I now try to choose a different response than “busy!” to the question “how are you doing?” But it’s honestly a conscious effort not to blurt out how damn busy I’ve been for the past I don’t know how long. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a disease of my own creation or one that is inevitable in these current times. Most likely a little bit of both.

I am definitely on board for stopping the glorification of busyness but I also have so many things I want to do in this life. I have many passions and they all require that I cram multiple events into my life. Trainings that I both take and teach, time with friends, travel, exploring locally, and spending time with family. This past month has been a whirlwind of weekend activities and evenings out. But it’s all been so good and so worth my time. My body is tired but my heart is happy. For now I will just have to go with busy but blessed.

Color Factory with friends – Busy But Blessed 🙂

A Return to Love

Posted on July 30, 2017 by jesalynjae

I read A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson for the first time in 2012. I have since read it again and likely not for the last time. I can distinctly remember the shift my brain had to make to integrate the idea that our nature is love, and anything that does not look like love is just a request for more love. It certainly made sense on a fundamental level but this is not the message we get in everyday life, so it took some getting used to.

Last night I got to see Marianne speak in Santa Cruz. It was really wonderful but she was actually quite different in person than I expected. Her speech was a fiery sermon aimed to get us worked up about the times we live in right now. She said that it’s not the first time society has strayed outside of what is moral and ethical but let us not be the first people in history to do nothing about it.

Of course we have to take action to make change, but the predictable plot twist is that it has little to do with others and everything to do with ourselves. It all comes back to us. How can we be more loving, more accepting, more devoted. “get the message IN first”. Then and only then can we collectively make the shifts that are needed. She addressed the need for the spiritual community to get more involved in politics so that the needle can be moved in the right direction.

Her ability to share perspectives and address human concerns was so highly skillful it was just an honor to witness. And as much as she is all about love, she is also about being straightforward and encouraging personal responsibility.

She called a few people out during the Q & A portion in a way that had me clapping in agreement, but also left me wondering if I would have been crying had I been in their shoes. One of these moments that stuck with me the most was when a woman shared difficulty in living with her father. She reported he brought “negative male energy” into the house. “This has to stop right now” Marianne said “that is not nice to men and it’s NOT ok”, I appreciate that she named this epidemic of putting men down.

But of course there is also the other side of the coin where women are still suppressed on so many levels. She said “let women speak in declarative sentences and say what they want”. She addressed the high incidence of depression in women and that if we are actually paying attention it makes perfect sense that we are depressed.

She encouraged us to always look for the lesson and where you could have reacted with more love. Can we make it our practice to send love to everything and everyone to overcome the hate that exists right now. This does not mean we blindly put up with everything in the name of love though. She said it’s time for us to own our yes and own our no. “Love always gives the loving response and sometimes the response is no”

Practice is key! Start in the morning, fill your consciousness with light and pray to the God of your own understanding to be of service. “Everything you do is your ministry”. As the Course in Miracles says: Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say and to whom?

My girlfriends and I stood in line for her book signing. I didn’t have anything for her to sign but I joined in a photo we requested. At the very end there was a moment where she made direct eye contact (the type of gaze that made me feel like she really saw me) and I said thank you so much. I immediately remembered something from a part of her speech where she said that when you are on this path and leading a life of love and purpose, there is a light in your eyes. Other people who have it, recognize it, and people who don’t have it want to know where you got it.

Ever a work in progress, I’m so grateful to be doing the best I can each day, making practice a priority and fully experiencing all the parts of life. And as Marianne said “It’s not over ’til the happy part”

Ecstatic Energy

Posted on June 27, 2017 by jesalynjae

I woke up on Easter in a F U N K. I was sad to be away from family, I was frustrated with other things going on in my life and I couldn’t handle the icky feeling I had in my body. So I gathered myself and decided to do something about it. I told my sleeping husband I was going to go to Ecstatic Dance in Palo Alto. I had been meaning to go for awhile and I was certain it would help. I had to take some sort of action because if left in this state I would inevitably lash out at someone, mostly likely my husband. He doesn’t deserve that and frankly I didn’t deserve to feel the way I did either. And I tell my clients all the time to do something to move the energy in their body when they are feeling stuck or yuck.

As soon as I started moving my body I could feel a shift. My movements matched the music…at first slow and rhythmic…transitioning to faster and more irregular. The beauty of this format is that moving your body is key but you can do it any way you want. Very few rules and absence of judgement creates a lot of freedom. My breath became more at ease, my mind slowly unraveled the worries that plagued me. I couldn’t quite shake the sadness though.

I took a break on the perimeter of the dance floor and started to tear up and then started to cry. Wet, hot tears rolled down my cheeks and caught the attention of a fellow dancer. I had seen this woman come in. She entered the dance floor with confidence and had a striking presence about her. She walked towards me, made eye contact with me and then came behind me. She wrapped her arms around me, one arm on my belly and the other hand on my heart. She nuzzled herself in close to me and took long, slow, deep breaths peppered with big sighs and hmmms.

My mind had a lot of things to say about this encounter “this is weird, right?” “I don’t even know this ladies name” “what will other people think?” “what the hell is happening?” “should I tell her to stop?”

But ultimately my body won out. My body is what got me there that day and my body is what needed this healing. I could feel the energetic shift as a weight dissipated from my heart. My tears slowed and my whole body softened. I knew when our time together was done and so I met her gaze and thanked her with my eyes.

I felt more whole than when I arrived but I also felt so exposed and raw. It was a vulnerable moment for me and I wasn’t sure if I would tell anyone about it. I found myself keeping track of this mysterious goddess healer as she moved across the dance floor. Should I go to her again and offer more thanks or at least introduce myself.

Ultimately I decided that I got exactly what I came for whether I knew it or not. I left before it ended and did not see her again. I actually haven’t been back since. I had a nice time and would certainly join another dance in the future but it just hasn’t happened. My openness to the experience is what stuck with me. Had I stayed home I would have been a jerk to my husband and felt awful all day. But I said yes to a shift, said yes to myself and in the end received even more than I bargained for. May we all say yes to moving stuck energy through movement, connection and kindness.

Dancing Blog Art

Love Trumps Hate

Posted on November 11, 2016 by jesalynjae

I fully expected to be writing a post this month about how we finally have our first woman president. Even though I was not thrilled with Hillary as a candidate, I was excited about the prospect of society shattering that glass ceiling. I felt the historic nature of that moment and was genuinely looking forward to being part of herstory in the making. I was not at all prepared for the outcome of this election nor the utter despair that I felt as a result. I wept, my heart raced and I felt like I could not breathe.

Below I am sharing a Facebook post that I put on my personal page. It resulted in a few people being unfriended. If my views here are offensive to you I consider it within your right to stop following me as well. But I won’t be silent and believe it is my duty as a woman, a yogini and a human to speak out.

“Wednesday morning, in the wake of my own shock, I led my weekly support group for women who have survived assault and/or abuse. What could I possibly tell them I thought? America has just elected a man who has zero regard for women and their safety or right to consent. And so I told them the only thing I could think and I will share with you here:

Take time to feel all that you need to feel. Cry, scream, curse, be angry, frightened, sad, lost. Take all the time you need but just promise me you won’t stay there.

Take very good care of yourself. Right now you have control over what you put in your body, the thoughts you think and how you show up in the world. It will not be easy. We are up against some serious hate and it isn’t right. But, we need to stick together more than ever right now.

When you are ready and have taken care of you, look women (and all others for that matter) in the eye on the street, smile at them and send them love and support. Remember when we act out of love not hate we protest all that he represents and apparently what much of the US represents as well. We have to be the change we want to see.

And something I didn’t say to them (because I didn’t need to) but I would like to add is that please know we are not angry/sad/scared/shocked because our candidate lost. Hillary was not my candidate, Bernie was. But, at least she represented inclusion, diversity, equality and respect for all people. The people have spoken and they have chosen someone who time and time again has stood for division, hate and frankly an America I am ashamed of right now.”

I plan to heed my own advise and take whatever time I need to heal. This grief and sadness is real. The fear of an unknown future is very real too. But then when I am done mourning I will pick myself up and get ready for the fight of a lifetime. If my government does not represent me, I will represent myself. Using love as my weapon and community as my army we will tackle this together. We have no choice. For some of us, our life depends on it.

Jesalyn_09

Svadhisthana Sweetness & Body Paint Delight

Posted on August 31, 2016 by jesalynjae

When I was in high school I had a friend once say she wished she could have some of my bravery. I have always been pretty bold in saying what’s on my mind and doing things outside the box. Not brave in the jump out of a plane kind of way but in the tell your crush you like him to his face, travel to developing countries and take all your clothes off and let someone paint you kind of way.

Yeah, that last one…I just did that. The yoga studio where I teach is an incredible community of visionaries and our studio manager created a mash up of yoga, chakras and body paint. I knew very little about body paint and had certainly never had it done myself. So, clearly I jumped at the chance.

The night started with a yoga class taught by me focusing on the chakra of the month, the sacral chakra. It’s all about fluidity, creativity and emotions. Governed by the moon and water, it’s feminine in nature and relates to our sexuality.

Then we moved onto the painting part of the night. I had arrived prepared with my nude panties and nipple tape but my painter was no where to be seen. I started feeling pretty disappointed. Nathalie who organized this event and has been painted many times said “how about I paint you?”

And so she and other members of the community stepped up even though they had never done anything like this before. It was the sweetest team of enthusiastic and interested friends. The artists and models from the Human Art Collective were amazingly supportive and welcoming as well. I had so much fun!

It felt great to be doted upon and painted. I was struck by how normal it was to have someone painting my bum, under my breasts and inside my belly button. There was a meditative quality to it as well. One of the painters agreed it was for her also. She shared that she found herself syncing her painting with her own breath. It was its own kind of yoga.

Here I was practically naked in the studio where I usually teach yoga very much clothed. And yet I felt so comfortable in my body. It briefly occurred to me that my belly was much rounder and my breasts much fuller than the other models (who had all done this previously). Even though this thought crossed my mind, I really wasn’t doing a lot of thinking.

During the couple of hours that I was being painted and then photographed I felt very much in my body. It was such a pleasurable and memorable experience. One I will not soon forget. I loved being painted but I loved even more how it all came together.

And then just like that it was over. One minute I was feeling fully embodied and confident, the next I was sitting in my bathtub covered in coconut oil while my husband scrubbed the paint off my back. Such is life with all its ups and down. So perfectly imperfect.