Category Archives: Healing

Yoga for Trauma

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I am a therapist and a yoga teacher and it’s very interesting to watch my two worlds come together. We are discovering that it’s hard to talk about yoga without including some aspects of psychology and the mind. It’s also exceedingly difficult to heal trauma without involving the body.

Next month I will lead my second 6 week series on Yoga for Trauma Healing. The interest has been high and the course is sold out. I am in the process of finding out a way to offer this on a regular basis to meet the needs of the community and because I believe in this work. I am also exploring how to make this more accessible for all who are interested in doing this healing work.

You may be hearing a lot of talk about trauma both in the media and in the wellness community. It’s sort of a hot button topic right now and there are good reasons for this.

Researchers are gathering more and more information about how our brain and body remembers, stores and processes traumatic incidents. The saying “the issues are in our tissues” is a quick way to illustrate what we are finding; the body never forgets. So it makes sense that the body oriented interventions are being proven most effective at targeting trauma.

As far as I am concerned, no one who is having a human experience will ever escape trauma. The definition is far more broad than most of us think and this means that we all have some level of trauma that we can work to heal.

I am grateful I get to hold space for individuals working to heal trauma both in this group series and in the individual work that I do with people. But, this also means that I have to be aware of my own traumas.

When I say all humans have some level of trauma, this certainly applies to practitioners supporting people to heal trauma too. Some of us have even more work to do so that we can be grounded enough to show up for others.

Another piece of the trauma puzzle that cannot be ignored is that of race and other social justice issues. As a white woman I have work to do in not only acknowledging my own privilege but also in recognizing all the ways trauma can present itself due to inequalities in our society.

I’m thankful to see the amount of discussion that is being generated around trauma but this also means we have to meet it with just as much if not more discernment. Listen to your own intuition about exploring this with a practitioner. Trauma work is sensitive work and should be approached with the utmost care.

Taking a Breiki

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My sisters were my first ever Reiki 1 class back in 2012. I have been teaching regularly since then and love sharing this healing modality. It gives me a lot of joy to play a small role in people embracing their inner healer. I also always learn from my students and feel a deep connection to myself and the energy each time I teach.

I’ve been resisting the call to take a break from teaching for some time. Why would spirit guide me to take a break from something I love? It’s easy to ask questions, but maybe we aren’t always meant to have answers. Trust is often all we have to go on when everything seems uncertain.

I believe intuition starts as a whisper and gets louder until you wake up to what’s being asked of you. So, I have finally decided to listen before the divine is forced to scream at me.

2019 is my year to scale back my classes entirely aside from the January Reiki master class I had agreed long ago to teach. It was lovely and bittersweet to have some wonderful souls share in my last class for awhile.

My break will include more weekends home to work on our house, the opportunity to learn other healing modalities (I am embarking on more yoga therapy this year), time for self-healing and self-reflection, and some things I probably couldn’t plan for even if I tried.

Reiki will still be a part of my life because it has been so intertwined these past years in everything that I do. I still offer individual sessions and incorporate it in many of my offerings. But the seat of the teacher is on the back burner for now. And I am at peace with it.

I don’t know what this year off will bring or what the plan for 2020 will be but if I had to guess I would say it will turn out perfectly and exactly according to plan.

Reiki master Jan 2019. Photo by Olivia Chapman Goss

Attunements (and funny faces) among the redwood trees. Photo by Olivia Chapman Goss

Disconnect from the Great Connector

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I love food! I’m one of those people who is thinking about food while I am eating food. Meal planning is a favorite hobby of mine and a game my mom and I used to play involved coming up with the most delicious thing you wished you were eating.

I was once a very picky eater and now am picky by choice. I’ve been a vegetarian my entire adult life and I try to stay in the realm of what I would consider healthy. Although it hasn’t always been the case, it’s getting easier and easier to be vegetarian, especially in California. I can typically always eat something close to what everyone else is having or will be offered an acceptable alternative.

My acupuncturist recently asked me to do a liver detox to address some imbalances he detected. I knew that I was going to have to do something like this so I have been mentally preparing. For three weeks I am giving up most of the tasty things I enjoy including dairy, gluten, sugar, alcohol and pretty much anything processed. I am only 7 days into a 21 day process but I am noticing how much food connects us to social experiences and pleasure.

In the last week I have been in various situations where I have had to decline the food being offered. It feels isolating to be the girl either not eating or eating something completely different. But I know it is temporary and it is tolerable. My health is my goal and that is so very worth it. Also, it is purely privilege that I am even able to restrict my diet for a specific purpose.

I can’t help but think about the parallel to life in this experience. How many people feel isolated and disconnected from society as a whole on a regular basis? How many people are always the ones who don’t fit the mold in any given situation? And for how many people is it not at all temporary?

It’s definitely not the first time I have felt disconnected from what’s considered the norm nor will it be the last but I find it interesting to observe the feelings that arise. Longing, worry about being judged, sadness, and feeling left out are just a few and this is only food folks!

The life experiences that this parallels are much larger and more permanent issues. It leaves me with a sense of compassion for the outsiders of the world. I am motivated to finish this challenge not only for my own health but also for the perspective that it grants me.

Soul Work & Sacred Secrets

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People tell me their secrets. And I’m not talking about in a hushed tone or drunken state, although that has happened too. I’m talking about the fact that I get paid to have people tell me what they haven’t told anyone else before. It’s weird really and sometimes I have to remind myself that this is the path I chose. It is not a coincidence that I hold the seat of the therapist. It was all by design and I try not to take it for granted.

Just so I am clear here, I don’t think secrets are all that helpful. The weight of carrying around something that needs to be said but never has been is heavy. But, life is complicated and there are many messages from parents, partners and most of all society that tell us to keep things to ourselves. Also, sometimes it’s not safe to share secrets or people do share and they are not believed. This needs to change and luckily a movement to do just that is rapidly building momentum. Look at the power that all the women (and men) coming forward with their secrets is creating. It’s amazing and it’s time.

But back to the secrets I get to hold. It struck me the other day when I heard for the hundredth or so time, “I have never told anyone this.” I always tell my clients and try to remember this myself: any work that you do on yourself whether within the walls of a therapist’s office, a yoga studio, out in Mother Nature or with your nose buried in a self help book is SACRED. It is the greatest work of the soul to say out loud what needs to be said, look at old patterns that aren’t working anymore, teach your body what it means to feel safe, and learn to love yourself along the way. Sharing these secrets is part of this process. The hope is that telling me is the catalyst for the rest of the process to emerge.

In hearing these secrets I am exposed to some of the most fucked up shit (that is indeed the clinical term for some of the bullshit human behavior I have encountered). I am talking abuse, violence, and neglect sometimes on a staggering scale. There is also the response to these things that starts out as adaptive and quickly moves into unhealthy. The addiction, self hatred, failed relationships, anger, deep pain and loss of self.

But for all the secrets and pain, I also get to witness the reclaiming of power, sense of purpose and magic that happens when the secrets are out and the healing can begin. It’s a precious place to be in the world: holding someone’s pain while seeing the light at the end of the tunnel before they ever can.

And I’m certainly not saying I have all the answers and that coming to therapy is like sliding down a rainbow on a unicorn. It can be rough and tumble and we all have human moments which means sometimes I say the wrong thing. But there is always room for repair and if I can show respect, understanding and leave judgement at the door we are good. For the most part I can do that and I feel super lucky to be on this path with so many others. Sometimes all we need is a witness and a cheerleader.

These people, the one who tell me their secrets. While I can never tell you who they actually are, they are the people we interact with on a regular basis. The people we work with and see in the grocery store and laugh with and play with. Rarely do the people in their immediate vicinity know the depth of their pain. Which means this is all of us. We are all working through the muck that is life while trying to remember and notice the beauty.

It’s also important to mention that the “fucked up shit” I have heard about was often an expression of pain. The wounded wound others and the cycle continues until someone can name it and break it. None of it is ok but it’s a helpful stance when the eventual work is forgiveness. Not for them but for us. Because as MLK Jr. so eloquently stated “I have decided to stick with love, hate is too great a burden to bear.”

I’m not sure what the conclusion of all of this is. It’s not meant to be an advertisement for therapy although as a therapist of course I would advocate seeking support if needed. More than anything I think it’s about the human condition and that we are all going through something. There are days when the last thing I want to do is hold someone else’s pain while I am feeling mine so deeply. But in that reality is the comfort that while I am witnessing my client I can also be holding myself in the process. And that is why I know everything is as it should be and I am right where I need to be.