Category Archives: Inspiration

Creativity and Collaboration

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Creativity and collaboration have been my words for 2013. They came to me as I was reflecting on the year 2012 and starting to tap into how I wanted to feel in the new year. I had no idea what it would look like but I knew I deeply needed both of these things in my life. The adventure that has unfolded has been an amazing one. I can honestly say I am glad I had no idea what a year of creativity and collaboration would look like. The best part of the journey is watching it unfold and if you had told me what I would do this year I wouldn’t have believed you anyway!

Creativity

My year started with my 30th birthday which I spent painting at a ceramics studio with friends. I used to do this all the time with a childhood friend but somewhere along the lines I became more and more self conscious about doing it right and not being artistic enough. I went to New Hampshire (my first ever solo travel as an adult) to take a workshop on playing the harmonium, which I have been doing ever since. I launched my own business website and starting blogging as well as moved into a new office space. I was featured on KPBS for the work that I have done with Laughter Yoga in the mental health system. My band had their first gig where I got to try out my leading lady skills; they’re a little shaky but it was SO much fun. I traveled in Ecuador for a month where I stayed with a host family and studied Spanish. To me travel is the ultimate in exercising your creativity when you do it right! I took additional courses in energy healing, meditation and angel card reading as well as taught my own Reiki class to a lovely group of healers. I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training with my first yoga teacher ever. I got upside down for the first time in my 13 year rarely consistent asana practice for some rad perspectives on life and love.

Collaboration 

I have connected with some incredible people this year and even when looking back on things that didn’t work out exactly how I had planned, I know that everything is perfect! I was fortunate enough to collaborate with several people through harmonium. I played in as many yoga classes and events as I could and loved the warm welcome that I received when offering to play and sing for folks. I navigated a move and some family drama with my partner that made us stronger as a team and made me love him even more. I joined a group of lovely women in a new moon healing circle and reveled in setting intention with group support and love.  I planned a therapy group with a dear friend and while the group did not take off this year, we created an amazing bond that has helped me beyond measure. We supported each other in building our businesses this year and laughed and cried about life and love. I also have been working with another sweet friend on creating a community for mothers and babies. This project also did not launch in the way we originally expected but we have kept the vision alive and I am fully expecting it to blossom next year. This friend has also been such a beacon of beautiful light in my life; she is always sending me lovely words of support right when I need them. This year also came with a letting go of a vision to create a non-profit and open a healing center with a business partner. Perhaps rather than a letting go, it has been more of a not now and not in this way.  I worked with some incredible women in my yoga teacher training and know that this just opened the door to the beginning of ongoing collaboration with one another.  It may appear that I had more failure than success in this avenue this year but for every project that fell flat, in it’s place is a mutually supporting, loving and nurturing relationship. And, THAT is what it’s all about.

I am feeling a little melancholy about saying goodbye to this year but I am excited to bring in 2014. My words for this new year are Power and Balance. I can’t wait to see how they play out!

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Angel Cards and Ancestral Blessings

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Last week I drove up to Pasadena for the Hay House “I Can Do It” conference and took an all day course in becoming a certified angel card reader. The course was led by Doreen Virtue who is the author of many books on working with the angels and a dozen or more decks of angel cards. If you are not familiar with her work and have any interest, she is definitely worth looking into. I started working with her cards around the time I started doing energy work. Her deck “Healing with the Angels” was available in my first Healing Touch class. We were invited to pick a card on our break and read the meaning in the enclosed book. I now use them in sessions with clients and on an almost daily basis for myself. I was, to say the least, very excited about the workshop. For the record, anyone can use the angel cards without the training, she just gave us tips to take our readings further.

The workshop was great, Doreen was amazing and inspiring and I met some very nice people. I couldn’t help but have one of those “how did I end up here moments?” though. I often find myself feeling supremely blessed but also a bit puzzled about my spiritual path. Sometimes it seems out of left field that I ended up being an energy healing, yogini, kirtan singer who reads angel cards. In my heart I know that all is perfect and that this is my path but still “how did I end up here?!” A memory was sparked for me and I thought back to the readings my grandma would give me when I was little. She would use a deck of playing cards and I am pretty sure used the Celtic Cross layout we learned in this training. She would tell me things based on the color and the number of the card or if it was a face card. I called her to ask about this and to let her know that she has (as I am realizing) inspired my path in many ways. She shared that her grandma read fortunes and that is where she learned it.

My great-great grandmother came to Idaho from Copenhagen, Denmark. We are not quite sure why or how she got here but in Idaho is where she met my great-great grandfather. Here I have shared the picture of the only belonging of hers that we know of. A book which she has so lovingly and proudly written her name in many times. Josephine Brikamine Petersen although my grandma tells me she called herself “Josephina Brigamina.” So, perhaps my path is not out of left field after all.  Of course, I already knew that but I love discovering this connection with my past. I plan to call in her guidance in my readings even though I’m sure she has always been there. My awareness continues to increase though and as Doreen says the cardinal rule of working with the angels is you have to ask them for their help. you can do itangel card certphoto (15)

El Colibrí de Alegría

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There are 132 different types of hummingbirds in Ecuador. Since I have been back from my month long trip there I have seen one or two everyday. On my first day back to my day job I was looking longingly out the window during our morning meeting, honestly wishing I wasn’t there, when I saw a sweet little hummingbird outside. It made me smile and remember my great trip and all the joy and freedom I felt while I was gone. But, being back didn’t yet feel joyful and free. I have a great life with a lot to be thankful and joyful for but I was still focusing on the desire to be back on my trip. Anytime we are gone experiencing a new and different culture, coming back is an adjustment. In reality, we come back to a new version of our world seen through the eyes of all of our new experiences. The hummingbird was there to remind me to be joyful in this moment, to be present. These little birds now find me while I am out walking, leaving my place for the day or in moments where I need this reminder.

Hummingbirds represent joy, specifically finding the joy in what we do each moment. Their flying abilities are not rivaled in any other species of birds, they are fast, agile and daring. They remind us to grab joy while we can, as quickly as we can, and that if we are truly enjoying what we do we become light enough to fly.

Image by: Ama White Owl http://amawhiteowl.wordpress.com/

Image by: Ama White Owl http://amawhiteowl.wordpress.com/

The School of Life is Now in Session

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I believe that we are all students in the school of life and we were placed here on Earth in this body to learn certain lessons. The good and the bad of it is that if you do not learn the lesson the first, fifth, or hundredth time, you have to take the class again. I also believe certain lessons continue to show up when they are very important or perhaps when you just need a refresher course. I am traveling in Ecuador and studying Spanish for a month and the lessons are abundant.

There are no coincidences: This one has come up for me a lot lately and I am grateful every time because I often need reminders. All things happen in perfect timing. The first person I met when I got off the plane told me he has been studying Reiki. I am a Reiki master/teacher and this felt like the coolest wink and hug from the universe. The woman where I am staying is just amazing and was the perfect person to come into my life. She embodies all that I have been studying over the past few years. We have talked about things like enjoying the moment by staying in the present, trusting that everything will work out and enjoying the flow of life. Every time we talk, she is telling me something that I have been working on and that has come to be a part of my everyday life. It’s like a review of all my life classes over the last few years.

Water is healing: This is a reccurring theme in my life as well. Just before I left I was going to a weekly yoga class by the water and it was amazing. Here in Cuenca, there are 4 rivers that run through the city. One of them is near my school and I walk by it everyday. There is simply something that is so peaceful about the water; it always brings a smile to my face. To me it represents the flow of life and that the only certainty we have, is change.

Enjoy each moment: Mindfulness is something that I try to work on in my everyday life but I think is especially important when you are experiencing a new culture. There are extraordinary things even in the ordinary moments of life and travel. My host mom exemplified this perfectly on the first day when she was walking me to school. We were walking and talking and she stopped in her tracks to admire a flower in bloom. She said something to the effect of “how beautiful! That wasn’t there before” and it was such a nice reminder to take the time to notice things in life.

It’s not always necessary to eat the minute you feel hungry: Here in Ecuador the biggest meal is lunch. I have traveled other places where that is the case and I really enjoy it. I found when I first arrived that I was feeling pretty hungry by the time lunch arrived (served in the home where I am staying about 1 or 1:30) But, I really enjoyed each bite by the time I ate lunch. I realized that at home I am often rushing to eat as soon as I feel hungry or often times even before I am actually hungry. I don’t think there is anything wrong with feeling hungry for a little bit, it means you are alive and your stomach is working as it should. And, as I have experienced it makes the food that you do eat so much better instead of mindlessly eating something just because you think you need to.

Your personal bubble is not as necessary as you think: I have noticed in Latin America there is much less emphasis on maintaining your personal space. People here kiss on the cheek to say hello to friends and people they have just met (I LOVE this) and you will often find someone will sit right next to you when there are other seats nearby. People tend to stand closer than you might be used to as well. At first it can be a bit strange when people from the US will think twice about sitting next to a stranger on a bench and guys try their hardest to keep a seat in between each other at the movie theater. But, ultimately you end up sharing more experiences this way. Our perception of a personal bubble is keeping us from connecting with others.

Travel the way the locals do: This one is important to me when I go somewhere new. I think you learn a lot about the people and the culture when you take their public transportation. It is not always as comfortable or as easy as getting a guide or going the tourist route but it is worth the experience.

Let go of your plans: I love making plans way ahead of time. I love putting things on my calendar and waiting with excitement and anticipation. I am a planner in my real life but when you are traveling many times you have to abandon your plans. It is totally fine to make plans but be prepared for the great possibility that they won’t always work out. Sometimes the greatest adventures happen when your plans don’t work out.

Health and wellness is a growing trend everywhere: The city where I am staying places great emphasis on exercise and heath. They have created parks with workout equipment and dedicated trails for runners, walkers and bikers. These parks also hold classes that are free or very affordable for the people of the city. Just like in the US, Ecuador has been having a problem with people who are not active enough and their health is affected as a result. Being that I am in the health and wellness business it is really refreshing to see such emphasis on this. It is entertaining and heart warming to hear the music of the exercise classes early in the morning and to see folks getting together later at night to run, jog, dance, walk or bike. I was also able to find a yoga class led by a couple who moved here from the US.

Stay open to the life lessons that are coming your way. Do you continue to be enrolled in the same class but never do the homework or pass the test? For me traveling continues to open my mind and provide me with amazing life lessons. Where do you get your best lessons?

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Life Lessons from Yoga by the Sea

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For 2 months this summer I had the great fortune of attending and playing harmonium in a yoga class at Sunset Cliffs led by my friend Renee Gauthier. It was absolutely lovely and something I looked forward to each week. The class will go through the end of September but I leave to travel soon and had my last class this week. Here are some things I learned or was reminded of about myself and life:

Everything happens for a reason and all in perfect time – I connected with Renee through my job but also discovered that she taught at the yoga studio where I practiced. If we had not met in the way we did, our paths still would have crossed. When I reached out to her to play in one of her classes she was creating the details for this event and thinking that she would like to have some live music. She said I texted her literally in the moment she was thinking about how great it would be to have live music in class. There are no coincidences!

Yoga + Ocean = Cure ALL – No matter how stressful my day was that day it all melted away as soon as I got to the water and got on my mat.

I don’t visit the water nearly enough – Why, oh why not? It’s so close and so beautiful. See above for more reasons why I should.

People want to share powerful life experiences – It was so fun to see how many people brought someone with them. Friends, neighbors, visiting family members all showed up to share yoga on the water in our beautiful city.

Change is constant – Each week the ocean and weather was different. Some days were clear and calm, others choppy and overcast. We had sunshine, cold, and even some slight drizzle. My body was different each week as well. Some days I felt strong and could do more challenging poses, other days I had to take it easy or could barely keep my balance.

Life is a learning process and mistakes are inevitable – I have only been playing harmonium for a few months and these classes were my biggest audiences yet. I am having a blast and loving every minute but I’m still a beginner and that means I screw up. It was a good opportunity to be able to recover from my mistake and keep playing. I got to practice this a lot 🙂

Put yourself out there anyway – If I was being cautious, which I definitely have been many times in my life, I would have waited until I felt more confident playing and singing to perform for people. But, I made the conscious decision early on to really jump feet first into this. I plan to work toward applying this to other areas of my life. There is just too much to lose when you hold back!

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How are you always so happy?

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happiness-is-a-way-of-travel-not-a-destinationMy client ended our session with this question last week. I gave them an answer but now that I’ve had more time to think I would add some things. My initial response was that I am not happy all the time. I think times when you feel down can and should be honored. Sadness, anger, irritability have their place and time in life and can be good teachers. The rest of my three-fold answer went something like this:

I practice what I preach, for the most part. When I make suggestions to clients to try certain things to make life more enjoyable it is because I have tried them or do them on a regular basis myself. I am happy because grouchy therapists, although they exist, are not very desirable. When I am working it is part of my job to be encouraging and I gladly take on that role. And, I have a lot to be thankful for in life and focusing on that is an instant mood lifter.

The part I didn’t get to mention, mostly because I was caught off guard, is that when I am working with clients I am doing what I love! Encouraging people to make positive changes in their life and actually seeing the changes happen is an amazing process that I am blessed to be a part of. This was my last client of a long day but I was still feeling great because doing this work makes me happy! While I think happiness can exist wherever you choose it in your life, it sure helps when you are doing something that brings you joy.

I fully believe that happiness is a choice that most of us can make on a regular basis if we learn to get in that habit. We can easily lose sight of happy though and move into angry, bitter, resentful, negative, sad, etc. We start to think that is our new normal and that’s where things can get tricky. The further away we get from happy the harder it can be to find our way back. I think our true nature is happy and that it is available to us all. Even those suffering from very real clinical depression can make choices that will support a better mood. I’m not saying it is easy but it is possible. Start today by infusing your day with things that you know bring you joy. Make time for those things more and more and watch your mood increase. If you don’t know what brings you joy start my trying different things. Read a good book, dance in your living room, spend time outside, play with kids or animals (notice how happy they always are!), try a new hobby, laugh for no reason, create something. The sky is the limit but remember your power and that you have control of your life!

Ceremonial Magic!

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Moon

photo by marema/Shutterstock.com

I started following the cycles of the moon just within the last year or so. Of course, I always knew the moon was up there and would occasionally wonder if it was full based on my feelings or the level of stress and chaos at work. But, I wasn’t really paying attention until recently. What a beautiful thing to be tuned into! Now I can’t imagine not knowing when the moon is new and when it is full.  During this time of awakening and increased awareness I have been a part of many ceremonies surrounding the moon, other changes in nature, and as a result of other spiritual practices (yoga, energy work, chanting).  I will soon get to have the great pleasure of attending my first blessing way to honor a friend having a baby.

I have hosted new moon, full moon and solstice events and am also involved in an ongoing new moon women’s circle. I really love having this in my life and recently realized that this now seems totally normal to me.  I hosted a bonfire for the recent supermoon and we ended up sharing a fire pit with some young girls and one of their boyfriends. I brought some pieces of paper for a releasing ceremony and some flowers to send out into the ocean as a wish. I led all of my friends through this but also invited our new friends to join in. The girls were so cute and really got into it. They commented how spiritual and powerful it felt for them and wondered how I had ever thought of something like this. At that moment I realized what a gift it has been for me to learn more about setting intention, creating ceremonies and being more in touch with the magical qualities of nature. I felt blessed that I could share it with these young girls who no doubt will remember it in the future.

I did not grow up doing things like this and realize that perhaps not many others did either. Aside from church, which I did not grow up going to either, we live in a society where formal ceremonies tend to happen at birth and death with just a few moments in between; weddings, graduations, birthdays. I know there are some exceptions and personally know a few people who grew up honoring life and mother nature regularly, but as a rule we are fairly disconnected. And frankly, those who were more tuned in may not have talked about it for fear of seeming weird.  I now see there is room for ceremony in almost everything and hope that perceptions of this are changing. I have a ritual that I do before and after working with clients, when I wake up, when I am asking for something and when something bad happens to someone I know or to the world. Some of these things are simple and subtle, others are more more complex and involved. And others are just downright playful, like howling at the moon with my sisters; a personal favorite! I try to do all of them with love, reverence and gratitude. I can’t say that I have never been called a weirdo, hippy or even a witch because of it but I don’t mind.

Zsuzsana Budapest, who identifies herself as a feminist witch, offers this definition of a witch:

“A witch is a woman or a man who considers the Earth a living, breathing, conscious being – part of the family of the vast universe – to be regarded and respected as God herself. To be a witch, you have to see yourself as part of God, who is present in, not separate from, us and all living beings” (p57, The Grandmother of Time).

I don’t know about you but this does not at all sound like the witches that most people picture. This definition is beautiful to me and definitely falls in line with beliefs that I have come to understand.  I happily embrace magical ceremonies into my life and look forward to learning more and sharing with others. What ceremonies did you grow up with and how can you bring more magic and nature into your life?

Trust…No, I mean really trust

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I started getting interested in and studying energy healing about 3 years ago. I really believe it was always a part of me, and of all of us for that matter, but I seriously started paying attention after having my first Reiki session.  I started reading books, meditating more and took my first Healing Touch class; I studied Reiki a bit later. I was hooked!!!

One of the biggest messages handed down from the founder of Healing Touch is to just “do the work.”  It is a simple lesson in trust and not being attached to the outcome but one that is often hard to incorporate.  When I first started energy work I was excited but also anxious to know more and be able to help people by connecting to divine guidance.  I wanted the heavens to open up and for me to receive clear messages that I could deliver to my clients.  As it turns out, intuition did not work that way for me.  When I would do sessions I would get some information but often it seemed muddy and didn’t make much sense.  Sometimes it would be right on and I would be able to connect it to something obvious but other times I was left wondering.  I learned early on from both my teachers and trial and error that even when it doesn’t make sense you should still bring it up with confidence.  That last part didn’t come easily at first and I would often gently mention something but almost as an afterthought that couldn’t possibly be significant.  Client’s picked up on my lack of assurance and there were times I felt very ineffective.  Side note: energy healing is not only about tapping into intuition and receiving guidance but I thought it was SO cool and really wanted to get it right.

My ability to trust increased as I got more practice and gained more confidence and confirmation in the work that I was doing.  Every time that I was able to confidently share some guidance I received and it was accurate, I trusted a little more.  I would also like to say that I reminded myself daily to be in a space of trust and love.  I knew that only in that space would I be able to do my most effective work.

I have been able to trust in the universe a lot more but I was recently reminded that this is still something for me to work on and maybe always will be.  I have received confirmation in at least three different instances that one of my totem animals is a dove.  A totem animal refers to an animal whose energy is similar to yours and in learning about this animal you can learn more about and better understand yourself.  Animal medicine is very powerful and can be a great aid in healing work.  To learn more check out Ted Andrew’s book Animal Speak.  Anyway, I already knew that this was my totem animal but given a recent opportunity to ask an oracle card reader a question, I asked what my totem animal is.  Now, I could lie to myself and say I was just asking to see if I have any other totem animals but the truth is I was testing it.  Sure enough the reader pulled dove and I proceeded to be in a space of relief and of also wondering why I just couldn’t trust my own intuition.  I tell my clients to do this so how can I still be struggling?!

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Art by Jenni Robison

I realized that if I really seek to trust, then I trust that all of this, even my evolution of trusting and my ongoing occasional doubts, are all perfect!  This has been part of my path and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all the steps along the way.  I continue to work on trusting that all is in perfect order, that my guidance and intuition are meaningful and valuable, that I will manifest things that I desire into my life.  I also trust that I will still need to work on some of the same issues as my clients and that as long as I am constantly striving to be the best person I can be everything is alright!  I still have to remind myself to trust and love but luckily that is one mantra that I don’t think I can ever wear out.  Where can you invite in more trust and love?  Do you still question things and can you honor this as part of your path while striving to trust just a little more than yesterday?

 

Leaning into Fear

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Not long ago I wrote about learning to play the harmonium and the path that led me to it.  I am happy to report I have been learning and playing and loving every minute of it! It is hard not to feel blissful after chanting these really beautiful and powerful mantras. The ease in which all of this came into my life affirmed this is what I need right now.

I was feeling very grateful and that all was in perfect order!! That is, until I was asked to play in front of people.  My immediate reaction when my yoga teacher asked if I would play at her yoga teacher training graduation was “I’m not ready!” “What if I screw up?” “I can’t possibly be good enough to have people hear me!”  Luckily this doubt didn’t last long because my highest self stepped in and said “Jesalyn, would you really follow your intuition and the path to bringing this into your life, even when it didn’t make much sense, and then say no to your first gig?!” I had said yes so many times along the way but suddenly being afraid of looking bad or not being ready was going to stop me. I am happy to say that I did play and it was an amazing first experience. I certainly wasn’t perfect but I made mistakes that most people didn’t even notice. Most importantly, I felt supported and loved by everyone around me including the universe. It was an incredibly special moment since this was not just any yoga teacher but my very first ever teacher. I knew her when I was 17 and falling in love with yoga for the first time. I reconnected with her recently and have become a part of her amazing studio.

There are more times in my life than I’d like to recount where I did let fear stand in my way but thankfully this was not one of them. In fact, I will soon play in my dear friend’s yoga class as my second kirtan gig. Am I afraid of that? Yes, absolutely.  But, I am also excited and grateful that I am starting something amazing. I think if we didn’t start before we were ready we might never do anything. I look forward to making mistakes and learning from them but doing so with an open heart and so much joy.

Here’s to living a life where you feel the fear but do it anyway! I leaned into my fear and it was joyful and fulfilling. Who knows what I’ve missed due to fear but I am trying my best to use my fear as a compass to guide me. I’ve learned that fear is usually a good indicator that something amazing is on the other side.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” ~Neale Donald Walsh

me and Jolie

Jolie and I in front of the Ganesha puja

 

Musings on Meat-Eating and Non-Judgement

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I have been a vegetarian for 13 years.  It started in middle school when we started talking about health food and healthy eating.

12 year old me: “Mom, I want to be a vegetarian”

Mom: “That’s nice sweetie. Vegetarians eat vegetables”

And so it went that if I wanted to be a vegetarian I guess I had to start eating vegetables. At that time I think my palate was willing to tolerate tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots with the occasional lettuce with lemon for dressing. I was NOT one of those kids who would eat any vegetable drenched in ranch. I still can’t stand the stuff! My mom was very patient with me and slowly introduced tasty things like stuffed peppers and zucchini, which is still one of the favorites.  I think I can safely say I out eat her in the veggie department now.

I became a full fledged vegetarian in high school after giving up various types of meat in stages; the last to go was fish.  While I will fully admit I was partially motivated in the beginning by thinking this was the “cool” thing to do, I backed up my beliefs and decisions with research and read both of John Robbins’ books on a plant based diet as well as subjected myself ongoing to gnarly factory farming videos.

Fast forward to college where I joined an environmental group on campus with lots of other passionate vegetarians. We felt it was our mission to educate others about the horrors of eating meat or exploiting animals in other ways. This meant handing out pamphlets, wearing t-shifts from PETA, hosting movie screenings and wait for it…protesting outside of a honey baked ham store before Easter. I’m not particularly proud of that one!  I prided myself in being educated and able to give anyone a reason that eating animals was impacting something they loved: the environment, starving children, their health, or the animals themselves.  I really, truly thought that anyone and everyone could and should be a vegetarian if they just knew the facts. It was just the right thing to do! But, in retrospect I know I was mostly being judgmental and shaming even though I meant well.

My take on things has changed quite a bit. I now realize that not every body can live without meat. In an ideal world, we would all eat a plant based diet but my personal year as a vegan left me feeling deprived and looking quite sickly. I have no doubts that I would be a better and healthier vegan now but I choose not to be. I am very happy being a vegetarian who eats cheese and it feels right for me. And, I know all the arguments and research against eating it. I know vegans who I respect and admire very much but I also know people who will chow down on a burger when they want and I love them and their decisions just as much.  I think Michael Pollan said it well, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants”  I am still a huge advocate for a diet that includes lots of fruits and veggies but if you need to throw in a small piece of (hopefully local, organic) meat every now and then I won’t throw pamphlets down your throat or secretly judge you.  In the past, I found myself gasping at stories such as the 20+ year vegetarian who woke up one day and wanted a rare steak but I hope I can continue to honor what my body needs and be open to the idea that it might change.

Please don’t think I am saying I’ve got it all figured out because if I am honest with you I do still cringe, aka judge when I see people eat McDonald’s or feed their kids junk and I sometimes find myself back in that “but, you should be a vegetarian mode.”  The trick is I am getting better about catching myself and just sending love instead.  That’s the shift that has been huge for me. All we are all looking for is love and acceptance. If I can step back and just send love to any individual or situation that gets me all riled up that could make all the difference for everyone. In what area of your life can you send love? Where can you let go a little?  Lots of love, acceptance and honoring your body for all!!