Category Archives: Kirtan

Creativity and Collaboration

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Creativity and collaboration have been my words for 2013. They came to me as I was reflecting on the year 2012 and starting to tap into how I wanted to feel in the new year. I had no idea what it would look like but I knew I deeply needed both of these things in my life. The adventure that has unfolded has been an amazing one. I can honestly say I am glad I had no idea what a year of creativity and collaboration would look like. The best part of the journey is watching it unfold and if you had told me what I would do this year I wouldn’t have believed you anyway!

Creativity

My year started with my 30th birthday which I spent painting at a ceramics studio with friends. I used to do this all the time with a childhood friend but somewhere along the lines I became more and more self conscious about doing it right and not being artistic enough. I went to New Hampshire (my first ever solo travel as an adult) to take a workshop on playing the harmonium, which I have been doing ever since. I launched my own business website and starting blogging as well as moved into a new office space. I was featured on KPBS for the work that I have done with Laughter Yoga in the mental health system. My band had their first gig where I got to try out my leading lady skills; they’re a little shaky but it was SO much fun. I traveled in Ecuador for a month where I stayed with a host family and studied Spanish. To me travel is the ultimate in exercising your creativity when you do it right! I took additional courses in energy healing, meditation and angel card reading as well as taught my own Reiki class to a lovely group of healers. I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training with my first yoga teacher ever. I got upside down for the first time in my 13 year rarely consistent asana practice for some rad perspectives on life and love.

Collaboration 

I have connected with some incredible people this year and even when looking back on things that didn’t work out exactly how I had planned, I know that everything is perfect! I was fortunate enough to collaborate with several people through harmonium. I played in as many yoga classes and events as I could and loved the warm welcome that I received when offering to play and sing for folks. I navigated a move and some family drama with my partner that made us stronger as a team and made me love him even more. I joined a group of lovely women in a new moon healing circle and reveled in setting intention with group support and love.  I planned a therapy group with a dear friend and while the group did not take off this year, we created an amazing bond that has helped me beyond measure. We supported each other in building our businesses this year and laughed and cried about life and love. I also have been working with another sweet friend on creating a community for mothers and babies. This project also did not launch in the way we originally expected but we have kept the vision alive and I am fully expecting it to blossom next year. This friend has also been such a beacon of beautiful light in my life; she is always sending me lovely words of support right when I need them. This year also came with a letting go of a vision to create a non-profit and open a healing center with a business partner. Perhaps rather than a letting go, it has been more of a not now and not in this way.  I worked with some incredible women in my yoga teacher training and know that this just opened the door to the beginning of ongoing collaboration with one another.  It may appear that I had more failure than success in this avenue this year but for every project that fell flat, in it’s place is a mutually supporting, loving and nurturing relationship. And, THAT is what it’s all about.

I am feeling a little melancholy about saying goodbye to this year but I am excited to bring in 2014. My words for this new year are Power and Balance. I can’t wait to see how they play out!

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Life Lessons from Yoga by the Sea

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For 2 months this summer I had the great fortune of attending and playing harmonium in a yoga class at Sunset Cliffs led by my friend Renee Gauthier. It was absolutely lovely and something I looked forward to each week. The class will go through the end of September but I leave to travel soon and had my last class this week. Here are some things I learned or was reminded of about myself and life:

Everything happens for a reason and all in perfect time – I connected with Renee through my job but also discovered that she taught at the yoga studio where I practiced. If we had not met in the way we did, our paths still would have crossed. When I reached out to her to play in one of her classes she was creating the details for this event and thinking that she would like to have some live music. She said I texted her literally in the moment she was thinking about how great it would be to have live music in class. There are no coincidences!

Yoga + Ocean = Cure ALL – No matter how stressful my day was that day it all melted away as soon as I got to the water and got on my mat.

I don’t visit the water nearly enough – Why, oh why not? It’s so close and so beautiful. See above for more reasons why I should.

People want to share powerful life experiences – It was so fun to see how many people brought someone with them. Friends, neighbors, visiting family members all showed up to share yoga on the water in our beautiful city.

Change is constant – Each week the ocean and weather was different. Some days were clear and calm, others choppy and overcast. We had sunshine, cold, and even some slight drizzle. My body was different each week as well. Some days I felt strong and could do more challenging poses, other days I had to take it easy or could barely keep my balance.

Life is a learning process and mistakes are inevitable – I have only been playing harmonium for a few months and these classes were my biggest audiences yet. I am having a blast and loving every minute but I’m still a beginner and that means I screw up. It was a good opportunity to be able to recover from my mistake and keep playing. I got to practice this a lot 🙂

Put yourself out there anyway – If I was being cautious, which I definitely have been many times in my life, I would have waited until I felt more confident playing and singing to perform for people. But, I made the conscious decision early on to really jump feet first into this. I plan to work toward applying this to other areas of my life. There is just too much to lose when you hold back!

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Leaning into Fear

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Not long ago I wrote about learning to play the harmonium and the path that led me to it.  I am happy to report I have been learning and playing and loving every minute of it! It is hard not to feel blissful after chanting these really beautiful and powerful mantras. The ease in which all of this came into my life affirmed this is what I need right now.

I was feeling very grateful and that all was in perfect order!! That is, until I was asked to play in front of people.  My immediate reaction when my yoga teacher asked if I would play at her yoga teacher training graduation was “I’m not ready!” “What if I screw up?” “I can’t possibly be good enough to have people hear me!”  Luckily this doubt didn’t last long because my highest self stepped in and said “Jesalyn, would you really follow your intuition and the path to bringing this into your life, even when it didn’t make much sense, and then say no to your first gig?!” I had said yes so many times along the way but suddenly being afraid of looking bad or not being ready was going to stop me. I am happy to say that I did play and it was an amazing first experience. I certainly wasn’t perfect but I made mistakes that most people didn’t even notice. Most importantly, I felt supported and loved by everyone around me including the universe. It was an incredibly special moment since this was not just any yoga teacher but my very first ever teacher. I knew her when I was 17 and falling in love with yoga for the first time. I reconnected with her recently and have become a part of her amazing studio.

There are more times in my life than I’d like to recount where I did let fear stand in my way but thankfully this was not one of them. In fact, I will soon play in my dear friend’s yoga class as my second kirtan gig. Am I afraid of that? Yes, absolutely.  But, I am also excited and grateful that I am starting something amazing. I think if we didn’t start before we were ready we might never do anything. I look forward to making mistakes and learning from them but doing so with an open heart and so much joy.

Here’s to living a life where you feel the fear but do it anyway! I leaned into my fear and it was joyful and fulfilling. Who knows what I’ve missed due to fear but I am trying my best to use my fear as a compass to guide me. I’ve learned that fear is usually a good indicator that something amazing is on the other side.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” ~Neale Donald Walsh

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Jolie and I in front of the Ganesha puja

 

Harmonium Happiness

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harmoniumMeet my beautiful, new harmonium!  I felt like a kid in a candy store (or really just me as an adult in a candy store) ordering and excitedly waiting for this baby.  It was September of 2012 that I first thought I might like to sing and play the harmonium. It came to me in a meditation and for about a week I was obsessed with the thought of buying one and learning to play.  Seeing that they are fairly expensive I decided to meditate on whether I should just go ahead and buy one.  The answer was clearly “NO, not right now”.  I have to admit I asked a few times and each time the answer was no. “Really universe? But, I am ready now!” I decided to honor this, trust and just let it go.  Just a few weeks later I reconnected with my very first yoga instructor and starting watching the kids in the yoga childcare in exchange for yoga.  Her space is so welcoming and wonderful I knew it was a good fit when I got there but then I looked over and saw that she had a harmonium and a huge smile came across my face.

“You have a harmonium!?!”

“Yes” she says “you can play it anytime you like”

I never did play it because frankly I didn’t know much about how to play and was a little intimidated.  It was still on my mind a bit and I liked a few pages on Facebook to keep myself in the loop on all things kirtan.  Fast forward to January of this year when I saw a Facebook post about an organization called The Call and Response Foundation. They were giving away a scholarship to a kirtan retreat in New Hampshire with harmonium lessons included!  I was at work and immediately sent off this email.

“My name is Jesalyn and I am a health care practitioner in San Diego. I do individual psychotherapy focused on mind-body integration. I am also a reiki master and do Healing Touch (both hands-on energy healing). I teach laughter yoga and my goal is to learn more about herbal medicine this year. I pride myself in offering a holistic perspective to wellness. I also happen to be a singer. I have sang all my life mostly for fun but also in weddings, for banquet events and now in the past year have started singing with a band. I hid my singing talent for the most part only letting it come out when prompted but I was shy. I never tell my clients that I sing or use it in a healing way.

Just last year I started considering learning to play the harmonium or rather it called to me in a meditation! I really looked into buying one but wanted to make sure it was the right thing since they are expensive. I have a non-profit in its beginning stages aimed at bringing healing modalities to all people especially those with trouble accessing them. My business partner is a yoga instructor and I had the vision of us bringing yoga and chanting to the masses in San Diego. I am finally ready to use my voice for healing and inspiration and I would absolutely love to attend this conference. I am familiar with call and response and have experienced it in yoga and at yoga festivals. It is truly moving to me and I would love to learn to share this with others. Please consider me for your scholarship. Thank you in advance for your consideration. Much love and light!”

I figured my chances were slim but I was contacted almost right away and offered the scholarship!  I had just received a gift card to southwest for my birthday and that covered most of my plane ticket.  I couldn’t believe how effortless it all came together but then again that effortlessness was the key to knowing it was the exact thing I needed.  It was the most amazing and life changing weekend.  It felt as if every moment of my life led me to that weekend and those moments singing and dancing and learning harmonium.  And while I truly believe all things happen for a reason and in perfect timing, I actually felt this to my core like I have with only a few other things. I met some amazing people who unfortunately all live on the East Coast, thank goodness for Facebook!

So, I returned with the harmonium bug and before I knew it I had found one on eBay and it was headed my way. I haven’t even had it a week but it was love at first site and I can’t wait to learn more.  I did not originally intend to write about all the serendipitous events that led me to my shiny new toy but I think it needed to get out and so again, all is perfect!