Category Archives: Love

How are you always so happy?

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happiness-is-a-way-of-travel-not-a-destinationMy client ended our session with this question last week. I gave them an answer but now that I’ve had more time to think I would add some things. My initial response was that I am not happy all the time. I think times when you feel down can and should be honored. Sadness, anger, irritability have their place and time in life and can be good teachers. The rest of my three-fold answer went something like this:

I practice what I preach, for the most part. When I make suggestions to clients to try certain things to make life more enjoyable it is because I have tried them or do them on a regular basis myself. I am happy because grouchy therapists, although they exist, are not very desirable. When I am working it is part of my job to be encouraging and I gladly take on that role. And, I have a lot to be thankful for in life and focusing on that is an instant mood lifter.

The part I didn’t get to mention, mostly because I was caught off guard, is that when I am working with clients I am doing what I love! Encouraging people to make positive changes in their life and actually seeing the changes happen is an amazing process that I am blessed to be a part of. This was my last client of a long day but I was still feeling great because doing this work makes me happy! While I think happiness can exist wherever you choose it in your life, it sure helps when you are doing something that brings you joy.

I fully believe that happiness is a choice that most of us can make on a regular basis if we learn to get in that habit. We can easily lose sight of happy though and move into angry, bitter, resentful, negative, sad, etc. We start to think that is our new normal and that’s where things can get tricky. The further away we get from happy the harder it can be to find our way back. I think our true nature is happy and that it is available to us all. Even those suffering from very real clinical depression can make choices that will support a better mood. I’m not saying it is easy but it is possible. Start today by infusing your day with things that you know bring you joy. Make time for those things more and more and watch your mood increase. If you don’t know what brings you joy start my trying different things. Read a good book, dance in your living room, spend time outside, play with kids or animals (notice how happy they always are!), try a new hobby, laugh for no reason, create something. The sky is the limit but remember your power and that you have control of your life!

Ceremonial Magic!

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Moon

photo by marema/Shutterstock.com

I started following the cycles of the moon just within the last year or so. Of course, I always knew the moon was up there and would occasionally wonder if it was full based on my feelings or the level of stress and chaos at work. But, I wasn’t really paying attention until recently. What a beautiful thing to be tuned into! Now I can’t imagine not knowing when the moon is new and when it is full.  During this time of awakening and increased awareness I have been a part of many ceremonies surrounding the moon, other changes in nature, and as a result of other spiritual practices (yoga, energy work, chanting).  I will soon get to have the great pleasure of attending my first blessing way to honor a friend having a baby.

I have hosted new moon, full moon and solstice events and am also involved in an ongoing new moon women’s circle. I really love having this in my life and recently realized that this now seems totally normal to me.  I hosted a bonfire for the recent supermoon and we ended up sharing a fire pit with some young girls and one of their boyfriends. I brought some pieces of paper for a releasing ceremony and some flowers to send out into the ocean as a wish. I led all of my friends through this but also invited our new friends to join in. The girls were so cute and really got into it. They commented how spiritual and powerful it felt for them and wondered how I had ever thought of something like this. At that moment I realized what a gift it has been for me to learn more about setting intention, creating ceremonies and being more in touch with the magical qualities of nature. I felt blessed that I could share it with these young girls who no doubt will remember it in the future.

I did not grow up doing things like this and realize that perhaps not many others did either. Aside from church, which I did not grow up going to either, we live in a society where formal ceremonies tend to happen at birth and death with just a few moments in between; weddings, graduations, birthdays. I know there are some exceptions and personally know a few people who grew up honoring life and mother nature regularly, but as a rule we are fairly disconnected. And frankly, those who were more tuned in may not have talked about it for fear of seeming weird.  I now see there is room for ceremony in almost everything and hope that perceptions of this are changing. I have a ritual that I do before and after working with clients, when I wake up, when I am asking for something and when something bad happens to someone I know or to the world. Some of these things are simple and subtle, others are more more complex and involved. And others are just downright playful, like howling at the moon with my sisters; a personal favorite! I try to do all of them with love, reverence and gratitude. I can’t say that I have never been called a weirdo, hippy or even a witch because of it but I don’t mind.

Zsuzsana Budapest, who identifies herself as a feminist witch, offers this definition of a witch:

“A witch is a woman or a man who considers the Earth a living, breathing, conscious being – part of the family of the vast universe – to be regarded and respected as God herself. To be a witch, you have to see yourself as part of God, who is present in, not separate from, us and all living beings” (p57, The Grandmother of Time).

I don’t know about you but this does not at all sound like the witches that most people picture. This definition is beautiful to me and definitely falls in line with beliefs that I have come to understand.  I happily embrace magical ceremonies into my life and look forward to learning more and sharing with others. What ceremonies did you grow up with and how can you bring more magic and nature into your life?

Trust…No, I mean really trust

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I started getting interested in and studying energy healing about 3 years ago. I really believe it was always a part of me, and of all of us for that matter, but I seriously started paying attention after having my first Reiki session.  I started reading books, meditating more and took my first Healing Touch class; I studied Reiki a bit later. I was hooked!!!

One of the biggest messages handed down from the founder of Healing Touch is to just “do the work.”  It is a simple lesson in trust and not being attached to the outcome but one that is often hard to incorporate.  When I first started energy work I was excited but also anxious to know more and be able to help people by connecting to divine guidance.  I wanted the heavens to open up and for me to receive clear messages that I could deliver to my clients.  As it turns out, intuition did not work that way for me.  When I would do sessions I would get some information but often it seemed muddy and didn’t make much sense.  Sometimes it would be right on and I would be able to connect it to something obvious but other times I was left wondering.  I learned early on from both my teachers and trial and error that even when it doesn’t make sense you should still bring it up with confidence.  That last part didn’t come easily at first and I would often gently mention something but almost as an afterthought that couldn’t possibly be significant.  Client’s picked up on my lack of assurance and there were times I felt very ineffective.  Side note: energy healing is not only about tapping into intuition and receiving guidance but I thought it was SO cool and really wanted to get it right.

My ability to trust increased as I got more practice and gained more confidence and confirmation in the work that I was doing.  Every time that I was able to confidently share some guidance I received and it was accurate, I trusted a little more.  I would also like to say that I reminded myself daily to be in a space of trust and love.  I knew that only in that space would I be able to do my most effective work.

I have been able to trust in the universe a lot more but I was recently reminded that this is still something for me to work on and maybe always will be.  I have received confirmation in at least three different instances that one of my totem animals is a dove.  A totem animal refers to an animal whose energy is similar to yours and in learning about this animal you can learn more about and better understand yourself.  Animal medicine is very powerful and can be a great aid in healing work.  To learn more check out Ted Andrew’s book Animal Speak.  Anyway, I already knew that this was my totem animal but given a recent opportunity to ask an oracle card reader a question, I asked what my totem animal is.  Now, I could lie to myself and say I was just asking to see if I have any other totem animals but the truth is I was testing it.  Sure enough the reader pulled dove and I proceeded to be in a space of relief and of also wondering why I just couldn’t trust my own intuition.  I tell my clients to do this so how can I still be struggling?!

peace-dove-jenni-robison

Art by Jenni Robison

I realized that if I really seek to trust, then I trust that all of this, even my evolution of trusting and my ongoing occasional doubts, are all perfect!  This has been part of my path and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all the steps along the way.  I continue to work on trusting that all is in perfect order, that my guidance and intuition are meaningful and valuable, that I will manifest things that I desire into my life.  I also trust that I will still need to work on some of the same issues as my clients and that as long as I am constantly striving to be the best person I can be everything is alright!  I still have to remind myself to trust and love but luckily that is one mantra that I don’t think I can ever wear out.  Where can you invite in more trust and love?  Do you still question things and can you honor this as part of your path while striving to trust just a little more than yesterday?

 

Honoring my juicing slump

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I got a juicer for Christmas in 2011 and I became a juicing fool. I would literally plan the night before what I would juice in the morning and get excited about it like it was my outfit for the first day of school. Juicing became a meditative act and I loved the way I could feel my cells vibrate as they absorbed nutrition. When I told my partner that last part I think he probably thought I was losing it! But, it gave me more energy and I couldn’t tell enough people about how much I was loving juicing. I have continued with my juicing on most days since I first got my juicer and it has become a great way to use any leftover veggies from the CSA. There have been days or stretches of days where I haven’t felt like juicing. At first I would try to force myself to want to juice because it is good for me. I have since backed off on that practice because when I was loving my juicing the juice itself was full of love. When I try to force it, I am drinking resentment and obligation!

I haven’t juiced in a few weeks now and I have decided to embrace the break. I know partly it started when I went on vacation and was off my routine but I am also respecting the fact that maybe I don’t need it right now. I was feeling like I was constantly battling off illness for awhile and during that time juice was my constant companion and wellness warrior. I still manage to eat healthy and incorporate a lot of veggies into my diet but I would rather return to juicing when I am happy and excited about it. I’m not saying we can sit on the couch and eat junk as long as we think loving thoughts (although that might work just fine, who knows?!) but I will say it feels good to honor what I need, or don’t need, right now.

On Monday I was up bright and early steaming kale and chopping veggies to have healthy food to eat throughout the week. It did not include any juicing but it felt joyful and it always helps me feel more grounded and prepared to know that I don’t have to worry about making good food throughout the week.

In what ways can you honor your body right now? Are you forcing anything that is not ultimately serving your joy in life? Let it go with a smile! 🙂

healthy food

Healthy food ready to go! Pile for the compost in the background.

 

Leaning into Fear

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Not long ago I wrote about learning to play the harmonium and the path that led me to it.  I am happy to report I have been learning and playing and loving every minute of it! It is hard not to feel blissful after chanting these really beautiful and powerful mantras. The ease in which all of this came into my life affirmed this is what I need right now.

I was feeling very grateful and that all was in perfect order!! That is, until I was asked to play in front of people.  My immediate reaction when my yoga teacher asked if I would play at her yoga teacher training graduation was “I’m not ready!” “What if I screw up?” “I can’t possibly be good enough to have people hear me!”  Luckily this doubt didn’t last long because my highest self stepped in and said “Jesalyn, would you really follow your intuition and the path to bringing this into your life, even when it didn’t make much sense, and then say no to your first gig?!” I had said yes so many times along the way but suddenly being afraid of looking bad or not being ready was going to stop me. I am happy to say that I did play and it was an amazing first experience. I certainly wasn’t perfect but I made mistakes that most people didn’t even notice. Most importantly, I felt supported and loved by everyone around me including the universe. It was an incredibly special moment since this was not just any yoga teacher but my very first ever teacher. I knew her when I was 17 and falling in love with yoga for the first time. I reconnected with her recently and have become a part of her amazing studio.

There are more times in my life than I’d like to recount where I did let fear stand in my way but thankfully this was not one of them. In fact, I will soon play in my dear friend’s yoga class as my second kirtan gig. Am I afraid of that? Yes, absolutely.  But, I am also excited and grateful that I am starting something amazing. I think if we didn’t start before we were ready we might never do anything. I look forward to making mistakes and learning from them but doing so with an open heart and so much joy.

Here’s to living a life where you feel the fear but do it anyway! I leaned into my fear and it was joyful and fulfilling. Who knows what I’ve missed due to fear but I am trying my best to use my fear as a compass to guide me. I’ve learned that fear is usually a good indicator that something amazing is on the other side.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” ~Neale Donald Walsh

me and Jolie

Jolie and I in front of the Ganesha puja

 

Musings on Meat-Eating and Non-Judgement

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I have been a vegetarian for 13 years.  It started in middle school when we started talking about health food and healthy eating.

12 year old me: “Mom, I want to be a vegetarian”

Mom: “That’s nice sweetie. Vegetarians eat vegetables”

And so it went that if I wanted to be a vegetarian I guess I had to start eating vegetables. At that time I think my palate was willing to tolerate tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots with the occasional lettuce with lemon for dressing. I was NOT one of those kids who would eat any vegetable drenched in ranch. I still can’t stand the stuff! My mom was very patient with me and slowly introduced tasty things like stuffed peppers and zucchini, which is still one of the favorites.  I think I can safely say I out eat her in the veggie department now.

I became a full fledged vegetarian in high school after giving up various types of meat in stages; the last to go was fish.  While I will fully admit I was partially motivated in the beginning by thinking this was the “cool” thing to do, I backed up my beliefs and decisions with research and read both of John Robbins’ books on a plant based diet as well as subjected myself ongoing to gnarly factory farming videos.

Fast forward to college where I joined an environmental group on campus with lots of other passionate vegetarians. We felt it was our mission to educate others about the horrors of eating meat or exploiting animals in other ways. This meant handing out pamphlets, wearing t-shifts from PETA, hosting movie screenings and wait for it…protesting outside of a honey baked ham store before Easter. I’m not particularly proud of that one!  I prided myself in being educated and able to give anyone a reason that eating animals was impacting something they loved: the environment, starving children, their health, or the animals themselves.  I really, truly thought that anyone and everyone could and should be a vegetarian if they just knew the facts. It was just the right thing to do! But, in retrospect I know I was mostly being judgmental and shaming even though I meant well.

My take on things has changed quite a bit. I now realize that not every body can live without meat. In an ideal world, we would all eat a plant based diet but my personal year as a vegan left me feeling deprived and looking quite sickly. I have no doubts that I would be a better and healthier vegan now but I choose not to be. I am very happy being a vegetarian who eats cheese and it feels right for me. And, I know all the arguments and research against eating it. I know vegans who I respect and admire very much but I also know people who will chow down on a burger when they want and I love them and their decisions just as much.  I think Michael Pollan said it well, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants”  I am still a huge advocate for a diet that includes lots of fruits and veggies but if you need to throw in a small piece of (hopefully local, organic) meat every now and then I won’t throw pamphlets down your throat or secretly judge you.  In the past, I found myself gasping at stories such as the 20+ year vegetarian who woke up one day and wanted a rare steak but I hope I can continue to honor what my body needs and be open to the idea that it might change.

Please don’t think I am saying I’ve got it all figured out because if I am honest with you I do still cringe, aka judge when I see people eat McDonald’s or feed their kids junk and I sometimes find myself back in that “but, you should be a vegetarian mode.”  The trick is I am getting better about catching myself and just sending love instead.  That’s the shift that has been huge for me. All we are all looking for is love and acceptance. If I can step back and just send love to any individual or situation that gets me all riled up that could make all the difference for everyone. In what area of your life can you send love? Where can you let go a little?  Lots of love, acceptance and honoring your body for all!!