31 Random Acts of Kindness

Posted on February 4, 2014 by jesalynjae

I turned 31 in January and decided that for my birthday month I was going to do 31 Random Acts of Kindness. It mostly worked out to one a day but there were days I did more than one thing and a day or two that I forgot as well. The funny thing about the days I “forgot” to do something was that if I really thought about my day there was some act of kindness I offered even if it was not planned. My goal is to live a life where random kindness towards others is the rule not the exception but there was something fun about planning and executing these small gestures as part of my own secret project.

I did things like leaving a nice note on a stranger’s car, bringing gifts and treats to my co-workers and clients, giving an extra large tip to a server, offering a free reiki session, letting a car into my lane during rush hour, leaving quarters in a candy machine, and being extra friendly to a grouchy grocery store cashier. My favorite was paying for the person behind me in the drive-thru. I rarely eat at places that have a drive-thru so I was thrilled to pick up In-N-Out grilled cheeses one night for my boyfriend and I and offer to pay for the car behind me. It was fun to tell the cashier my plan and to think that he got to tell the car behind me that their meal had been taken care of. I got a nice, but somewhat confused, wave from the car when they found out. And, I was smiling from ear to ear. Another close second was leaving art supplies for a friend. This ended up being a fun adventure because I couldn’t find her house. I’ve been there lots of times but my sense of direction is impaired to say the least!

Kindness towards others is so gratifying for me it hardly feels like I am doing something nice for someone else. I love that something as simple as stepping outside of your own issues/problems/concerns long enough to give loving kindness to someone else can dramatically shift your perspective. I’ve definitely had days where I don’t feel like being kind but kindness is and always will be the better solution. I struggled to get along with my step-mother growing up (frankly she just wasn’t nice to me) and my mom always used to tell me to “kill her with kindness.” I don’t think I completely understood this when I was younger and while now I fully appreciate the depth of what my mom was saying, on SO many levels, I think the phrase needs so updating. “Love them with kindness” feels so much sweeter to me. So, here’s to more kindness in the world, one random act at a time!

Teaching my Lessons

Posted on January 21, 2014 by jesalynjae

The goal and mission of my business is to help people live their best life. To me this means living according to what you are passionate about and what brings you joy. This can come in the form of releasing past hurts or negative patterns, being assertive and speaking your truth, following your bliss, setting boundaries, and taking healthy risks. I find that often people need to be reminded that they absolutely deserve to live a good life and many times our work together is embracing this concept and allowing joy to flow.

It is very important to me to be authentic in my work and not to pretend that I have it all figured out. I tell clients that many of the lessons I share are ongoing ones for myself as well. Learning to see ourselves as perfectly imperfect is a concept I work with a lot for myself and for clients.

Let me be super clear and vulnerable here…I do not always feel that I am in alignment with my passion and joy and sometimes that sends me into a tailspin. The perfect example of this is my day job. I have worked for a psychiatric hospital for more than 3 1/2 years. It is a good job and I get to serve a population that really needs support. I cut back my hours as I built my business and have been part-time for about a year and a half. I know I do not want to be there forever (it’s a big organization with all the politics that come with that) and honestly thought I would have been able to quit by now. And, some days it is painful to be there. I have cried many times in my bosses office and in the arms of my supportive boyfriend about this. My boss is actually hugely supportive as well and will support me in whatever I do and I am so grateful for that.

My downward spiral goes something like this: I hate my job and being here lowers my mood and my vibration, it makes me mean and bitter and no one wants to be around someone who is mean and bitter. How am I supposed to help people live a joyful life if I can’t even leave a job I can’t stand? I’m a fake and a fraud and who would want to come see me to work on themselves? I should just quit and everything will work itself out… yes, I will quit… I’ll quit by such and such date. But I can’t do that, I won’t have enough money to live. I suck, life sucks!!!

As most of us know, that all happens in the span of a few seconds, but if I can take a breath, remember something I am grateful for, and put on my big girl panties I can see the bigger picture. I have come a long way and continue to actively expand my business which I love all of the time (for the record, I don’t hate my day job all of the time). I have already taken big risks and have been getting creative about where I am headed. My ultimate goal is for my business to pay my bills (and then some!) and to be able to quit my day job. When I am fully in the bigger picture I know this is possible and I trust with all my heart that this is in my future. I trust myself and the universe and that all of this is part of my journey. I also know plenty of ways to raise my vibration and focus on joy so that I don’t stay caught in my downward shit storm spiral…some days I’m better at this than others.

And, the biggest reminder of all is… I DO NOT have to have it all figured out to help people! In fact, being in the position that I am now makes me more equipped to support people as they find the joyful life they deserve. My clients and I are often in the same boat and so I know exactly how they feel. I am teaching my own lessons and keeping it real along the way.

Creativity and Collaboration

Posted on December 20, 2013 by jesalynjae

Creativity and collaboration have been my words for 2013. They came to me as I was reflecting on the year 2012 and starting to tap into how I wanted to feel in the new year. I had no idea what it would look like but I knew I deeply needed both of these things in my life. The adventure that has unfolded has been an amazing one. I can honestly say I am glad I had no idea what a year of creativity and collaboration would look like. The best part of the journey is watching it unfold and if you had told me what I would do this year I wouldn’t have believed you anyway!

Creativity

My year started with my 30th birthday which I spent painting at a ceramics studio with friends. I used to do this all the time with a childhood friend but somewhere along the lines I became more and more self conscious about doing it right and not being artistic enough. I went to New Hampshire (my first ever solo travel as an adult) to take a workshop on playing the harmonium, which I have been doing ever since. I launched my own business website and starting blogging as well as moved into a new office space. I was featured on KPBS for the work that I have done with Laughter Yoga in the mental health system. My band had their first gig where I got to try out my leading lady skills; they’re a little shaky but it was SO much fun. I traveled in Ecuador for a month where I stayed with a host family and studied Spanish. To me travel is the ultimate in exercising your creativity when you do it right! I took additional courses in energy healing, meditation and angel card reading as well as taught my own Reiki class to a lovely group of healers. I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training with my first yoga teacher ever. I got upside down for the first time in my 13 year rarely consistent asana practice for some rad perspectives on life and love.

Collaboration

I have connected with some incredible people this year and even when looking back on things that didn’t work out exactly how I had planned, I know that everything is perfect! I was fortunate enough to collaborate with several people through harmonium. I played in as many yoga classes and events as I could and loved the warm welcome that I received when offering to play and sing for folks. I navigated a move and some family drama with my partner that made us stronger as a team and made me love him even more. I joined a group of lovely women in a new moon healing circle and reveled in setting intention with group support and love. I planned a therapy group with a dear friend and while the group did not take off this year, we created an amazing bond that has helped me beyond measure. We supported each other in building our businesses this year and laughed and cried about life and love. I also have been working with another sweet friend on creating a community for mothers and babies. This project also did not launch in the way we originally expected but we have kept the vision alive and I am fully expecting it to blossom next year. This friend has also been such a beacon of beautiful light in my life; she is always sending me lovely words of support right when I need them. This year also came with a letting go of a vision to create a non-profit and open a healing center with a business partner. Perhaps rather than a letting go, it has been more of a not now and not in this way. I worked with some incredible women in my yoga teacher training and know that this just opened the door to the beginning of ongoing collaboration with one another. It may appear that I had more failure than success in this avenue this year but for every project that fell flat, in it’s place is a mutually supporting, loving and nurturing relationship. And, THAT is what it’s all about.

I am feeling a little melancholy about saying goodbye to this year but I am excited to bring in 2014. My words for this new year are Power and Balance. I can’t wait to see how they play out!

How are you always so happy?

Posted on July 31, 2013 by jesalynjae

My client ended our session with this question last week. I gave them an answer but now that I’ve had more time to think I would add some things. My initial response was that I am not happy all the time. I think times when you feel down can and should be honored. Sadness, anger, irritability have their place and time in life and can be good teachers. The rest of my three-fold answer went something like this:

I practice what I preach, for the most part. When I make suggestions to clients to try certain things to make life more enjoyable it is because I have tried them or do them on a regular basis myself. I am happy because grouchy therapists, although they exist, are not very desirable. When I am working it is part of my job to be encouraging and I gladly take on that role. And, I have a lot to be thankful for in life and focusing on that is an instant mood lifter.

The part I didn’t get to mention, mostly because I was caught off guard, is that when I am working with clients I am doing what I love! Encouraging people to make positive changes in their life and actually seeing the changes happen is an amazing process that I am blessed to be a part of. This was my last client of a long day but I was still feeling great because doing this work makes me happy! While I think happiness can exist wherever you choose it in your life, it sure helps when you are doing something that brings you joy.

I fully believe that happiness is a choice that most of us can make on a regular basis if we learn to get in that habit. We can easily lose sight of happy though and move into angry, bitter, resentful, negative, sad, etc. We start to think that is our new normal and that’s where things can get tricky. The further away we get from happy the harder it can be to find our way back. I think our true nature is happy and that it is available to us all. Even those suffering from very real clinical depression can make choices that will support a better mood. I’m not saying it is easy but it is possible. Start today by infusing your day with things that you know bring you joy. Make time for those things more and more and watch your mood increase. If you don’t know what brings you joy start my trying different things. Read a good book, dance in your living room, spend time outside, play with kids or animals (notice how happy they always are!), try a new hobby, laugh for no reason, create something. The sky is the limit but remember your power and that you have control of your life!

Ceremonial Magic!

Posted on July 11, 2013 by jesalynjae

photo by marema/Shutterstock.com

I started following the cycles of the moon just within the last year or so. Of course, I always knew the moon was up there and would occasionally wonder if it was full based on my feelings or the level of stress and chaos at work. But, I wasn’t really paying attention until recently. What a beautiful thing to be tuned into! Now I can’t imagine not knowing when the moon is new and when it is full. During this time of awakening and increased awareness I have been a part of many ceremonies surrounding the moon, other changes in nature, and as a result of other spiritual practices (yoga, energy work, chanting). I will soon get to have the great pleasure of attending my first blessing way to honor a friend having a baby.

I have hosted new moon, full moon and solstice events and am also involved in an ongoing new moon women’s circle. I really love having this in my life and recently realized that this now seems totally normal to me. I hosted a bonfire for the recent supermoon and we ended up sharing a fire pit with some young girls and one of their boyfriends. I brought some pieces of paper for a releasing ceremony and some flowers to send out into the ocean as a wish. I led all of my friends through this but also invited our new friends to join in. The girls were so cute and really got into it. They commented how spiritual and powerful it felt for them and wondered how I had ever thought of something like this. At that moment I realized what a gift it has been for me to learn more about setting intention, creating ceremonies and being more in touch with the magical qualities of nature. I felt blessed that I could share it with these young girls who no doubt will remember it in the future.

I did not grow up doing things like this and realize that perhaps not many others did either. Aside from church, which I did not grow up going to either, we live in a society where formal ceremonies tend to happen at birth and death with just a few moments in between; weddings, graduations, birthdays. I know there are some exceptions and personally know a few people who grew up honoring life and mother nature regularly, but as a rule we are fairly disconnected. And frankly, those who were more tuned in may not have talked about it for fear of seeming weird. I now see there is room for ceremony in almost everything and hope that perceptions of this are changing. I have a ritual that I do before and after working with clients, when I wake up, when I am asking for something and when something bad happens to someone I know or to the world. Some of these things are simple and subtle, others are more more complex and involved. And others are just downright playful, like howling at the moon with my sisters; a personal favorite! I try to do all of them with love, reverence and gratitude. I can’t say that I have never been called a weirdo, hippy or even a witch because of it but I don’t mind.

Zsuzsana Budapest, who identifies herself as a feminist witch, offers this definition of a witch:

“A witch is a woman or a man who considers the Earth a living, breathing, conscious being – part of the family of the vast universe – to be regarded and respected as God herself. To be a witch, you have to see yourself as part of God, who is present in, not separate from, us and all living beings” (p57, The Grandmother of Time).

I don’t know about you but this does not at all sound like the witches that most people picture. This definition is beautiful to me and definitely falls in line with beliefs that I have come to understand. I happily embrace magical ceremonies into my life and look forward to learning more and sharing with others. What ceremonies did you grow up with and how can you bring more magic and nature into your life?

Buddha Breakfast Bowl

Posted on June 28, 2013 by jesalynjae

This is one of my favorite recipes because it is delicious, easy to make and you can make enough for several days. Oh yeah, and it’s super good for you! 🙂 I like to have it for breakfast but it is really good for any meal. The triple alliteration was just too good to pass up. Credit for this recipe goes to one of my favorite yoga teachers Elena Brower

Cook up quinoa, brown rice or any other grain according to the package.
Lightly steam kale or other leafy greens.
Add any other veggies that are in season to your grains and greens. Pictured is roasted butternut squash but I have added broccoli, zucchini, sweet potato, avocado, cauliflower.
Some grilled or baked tempeh makes it a little more hearty.
Top with lemon-miso dressing, sesame seeds, seaweed flakes, tapatio, etc.
Have fun, mix it up, make it your own!

Lemon-Miso Dressing: caution this stuff is amazing and you may want to put it on everything!!

Equal parts (50-150ml depending on how much you want to make) fresh squeezed lemon juice and oil of choice (I usually use olive or grapeseed)
One or two heaping spoonfuls of miso paste (white or yellow seem to work the best)
I make it in a mason jar and just shake it up
You can mix up the citrus that you use as well. I’m pretty partial to lemon though.

*organic is best for all the ingredients, especially the kale and soy products.

I store the ingredients in glass tupperware and make up batches throughout the week. YUM!

Trust…No, I mean really trust

Posted on June 18, 2013 by jesalynjae

I started getting interested in and studying energy healing about 3 years ago. I really believe it was always a part of me, and of all of us for that matter, but I seriously started paying attention after having my first Reiki session. I started reading books, meditating more and took my first Healing Touch class; I studied Reiki a bit later. I was hooked!!!

One of the biggest messages handed down from the founder of Healing Touch is to just “do the work.” It is a simple lesson in trust and not being attached to the outcome but one that is often hard to incorporate. When I first started energy work I was excited but also anxious to know more and be able to help people by connecting to divine guidance. I wanted the heavens to open up and for me to receive clear messages that I could deliver to my clients. As it turns out, intuition did not work that way for me. When I would do sessions I would get some information but often it seemed muddy and didn’t make much sense. Sometimes it would be right on and I would be able to connect it to something obvious but other times I was left wondering. I learned early on from both my teachers and trial and error that even when it doesn’t make sense you should still bring it up with confidence. That last part didn’t come easily at first and I would often gently mention something but almost as an afterthought that couldn’t possibly be significant. Client’s picked up on my lack of assurance and there were times I felt very ineffective. Side note: energy healing is not only about tapping into intuition and receiving guidance but I thought it was SO cool and really wanted to get it right.

My ability to trust increased as I got more practice and gained more confidence and confirmation in the work that I was doing. Every time that I was able to confidently share some guidance I received and it was accurate, I trusted a little more. I would also like to say that I reminded myself daily to be in a space of trust and love. I knew that only in that space would I be able to do my most effective work.

I have been able to trust in the universe a lot more but I was recently reminded that this is still something for me to work on and maybe always will be. I have received confirmation in at least three different instances that one of my totem animals is a dove. A totem animal refers to an animal whose energy is similar to yours and in learning about this animal you can learn more about and better understand yourself. Animal medicine is very powerful and can be a great aid in healing work. To learn more check out Ted Andrew’s book Animal Speak. Anyway, I already knew that this was my totem animal but given a recent opportunity to ask an oracle card reader a question, I asked what my totem animal is. Now, I could lie to myself and say I was just asking to see if I have any other totem animals but the truth is I was testing it. Sure enough the reader pulled dove and I proceeded to be in a space of relief and of also wondering why I just couldn’t trust my own intuition. I tell my clients to do this so how can I still be struggling?!

Art by Jenni Robison

I realized that if I really seek to trust, then I trust that all of this, even my evolution of trusting and my ongoing occasional doubts, are all perfect! This has been part of my path and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all the steps along the way. I continue to work on trusting that all is in perfect order, that my guidance and intuition are meaningful and valuable, that I will manifest things that I desire into my life. I also trust that I will still need to work on some of the same issues as my clients and that as long as I am constantly striving to be the best person I can be everything is alright! I still have to remind myself to trust and love but luckily that is one mantra that I don’t think I can ever wear out. Where can you invite in more trust and love? Do you still question things and can you honor this as part of your path while striving to trust just a little more than yesterday?

Honoring my juicing slump

Posted on June 6, 2013 by jesalynjae

I got a juicer for Christmas in 2011 and I became a juicing fool. I would literally plan the night before what I would juice in the morning and get excited about it like it was my outfit for the first day of school. Juicing became a meditative act and I loved the way I could feel my cells vibrate as they absorbed nutrition. When I told my partner that last part I think he probably thought I was losing it! But, it gave me more energy and I couldn’t tell enough people about how much I was loving juicing. I have continued with my juicing on most days since I first got my juicer and it has become a great way to use any leftover veggies from the CSA. There have been days or stretches of days where I haven’t felt like juicing. At first I would try to force myself to want to juice because it is good for me. I have since backed off on that practice because when I was loving my juicing the juice itself was full of love. When I try to force it, I am drinking resentment and obligation!

I haven’t juiced in a few weeks now and I have decided to embrace the break. I know partly it started when I went on vacation and was off my routine but I am also respecting the fact that maybe I don’t need it right now. I was feeling like I was constantly battling off illness for awhile and during that time juice was my constant companion and wellness warrior. I still manage to eat healthy and incorporate a lot of veggies into my diet but I would rather return to juicing when I am happy and excited about it. I’m not saying we can sit on the couch and eat junk as long as we think loving thoughts (although that might work just fine, who knows?!) but I will say it feels good to honor what I need, or don’t need, right now.

On Monday I was up bright and early steaming kale and chopping veggies to have healthy food to eat throughout the week. It did not include any juicing but it felt joyful and it always helps me feel more grounded and prepared to know that I don’t have to worry about making good food throughout the week.

In what ways can you honor your body right now? Are you forcing anything that is not ultimately serving your joy in life? Let it go with a smile! 🙂

Healthy food ready to go! Pile for the compost in the background.

Musings on Meat-Eating and Non-Judgement

Posted on May 18, 2013 by jesalynjae

I have been a vegetarian for 13 years. It started in middle school when we started talking about health food and healthy eating.

12 year old me: “Mom, I want to be a vegetarian”

Mom: “That’s nice sweetie. Vegetarians eat vegetables”

And so it went that if I wanted to be a vegetarian I guess I had to start eating vegetables. At that time I think my palate was willing to tolerate tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots with the occasional lettuce with lemon for dressing. I was NOT one of those kids who would eat any vegetable drenched in ranch. I still can’t stand the stuff! My mom was very patient with me and slowly introduced tasty things like stuffed peppers and zucchini, which is still one of the favorites. I think I can safely say I out eat her in the veggie department now.

I became a full fledged vegetarian in high school after giving up various types of meat in stages; the last to go was fish. While I will fully admit I was partially motivated in the beginning by thinking this was the “cool” thing to do, I backed up my beliefs and decisions with research and read both of John Robbins’ books on a plant based diet as well as subjected myself ongoing to gnarly factory farming videos.

Fast forward to college where I joined an environmental group on campus with lots of other passionate vegetarians. We felt it was our mission to educate others about the horrors of eating meat or exploiting animals in other ways. This meant handing out pamphlets, wearing t-shifts from PETA, hosting movie screenings and wait for it…protesting outside of a honey baked ham store before Easter. I’m not particularly proud of that one! I prided myself in being educated and able to give anyone a reason that eating animals was impacting something they loved: the environment, starving children, their health, or the animals themselves. I really, truly thought that anyone and everyone could and should be a vegetarian if they just knew the facts. It was just the right thing to do! But, in retrospect I know I was mostly being judgmental and shaming even though I meant well.

My take on things has changed quite a bit. I now realize that not every body can live without meat. In an ideal world, we would all eat a plant based diet but my personal year as a vegan left me feeling deprived and looking quite sickly. I have no doubts that I would be a better and healthier vegan now but I choose not to be. I am very happy being a vegetarian who eats cheese and it feels right for me. And, I know all the arguments and research against eating it. I know vegans who I respect and admire very much but I also know people who will chow down on a burger when they want and I love them and their decisions just as much. I think Michael Pollan said it well, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants” I am still a huge advocate for a diet that includes lots of fruits and veggies but if you need to throw in a small piece of (hopefully local, organic) meat every now and then I won’t throw pamphlets down your throat or secretly judge you. In the past, I found myself gasping at stories such as the 20+ year vegetarian who woke up one day and wanted a rare steak but I hope I can continue to honor what my body needs and be open to the idea that it might change.

Please don’t think I am saying I’ve got it all figured out because if I am honest with you I do still cringe, aka judge when I see people eat McDonald’s or feed their kids junk and I sometimes find myself back in that “but, you should be a vegetarian mode.” The trick is I am getting better about catching myself and just sending love instead. That’s the shift that has been huge for me. All we are all looking for is love and acceptance. If I can step back and just send love to any individual or situation that gets me all riled up that could make all the difference for everyone. In what area of your life can you send love? Where can you let go a little? Lots of love, acceptance and honoring your body for all!!

Self-care and Vision Boards

Posted on April 30, 2013 by jesalynjae

I called in sick on Monday…

I work part time for a psychiatric hospital and lately I have felt like I am constantly fighting some illness off. I was attributing echinacea and green juice for keeping me from getting sick but I was also getting a little resentful of my body. “Why won’t you just stay well!?” It was feeling, and still is to some extent, like I was always going to battle with my body. I was determined for my mind and energy to win out. I know I have been more stressed at work lately and that is never a good recipe for staying healthy. There have been several days that I wanted to stay home but felt guilty or obligated to go in. I took a good look at those feelings and realized that was not contributing to my wellness either. Guilt and obligation are pretty low ranking on the vibrational scale. So, I took the day off to rest and take care of myself.

I made a vision board!!! I got some construction paper, magazines, scissors and a glue stick and went to town to set intention for what I want in life. The universe is always listening so I set aside the stress, guilt and obligation and opened my mind and body to all the abundance I know is already mine. With the help from some inspiration on manifesting from Carmen Marshall I set out to get clear about what I want. Carmen talks a bit about this but I also incorporated the brilliant teachings of Danielle LaPorte in not only setting goals for things you want in life but most importantly focusing on how you want to FEEL!

My vision board turned out quite nicely and I sure had fun making it. I haven’t figured out where I will display it yet but I look forward to the daily reminder to take action on what I want and how I want to feel. I’m actually feeling it already…. 🙂

Jesalyn Eatchel, LCSW

Healing for mind, body and spirit

Category Archives: Raising your Vibration