Category Archives: Setting Intention

How to Date Yourself

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When was the last time you took yourself out on a date? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a quiet place and some dedicated time to self reflect. Yesterday was the new moon and after the light dusting of rain we got, the coast was clear and beautiful. I had a delicious healthy lunch, spent time meditating by the ocean, did some art and shopped for my Halloween costume. The moon cycles are a great way to set a monthly date with yourself. Mark down the new moon or full moon as your day to spend with yourself and stick with it as a self care practice. Life pulls us in a lot of different directions and we are often the ones who suffer. In my experience we are more likely to let ourselves down before we will do that to another person or obligation. It’s not selfish to put ourselves first and a monthly date is a great way to practice this. I also hosted by monthly new moon circle that night and it was the perfect end to the day. Join the Patreon community to connect in our next circle 10/27/19 and mark your calendar for a date with yourself! Everyone benefits when we take good care of ourselves.

Meditation Exaltation

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It was almost three years ago that I took my first yoga teacher intensive with Elena Brower. I learned so much in those three days and yet she said the one thing she wanted us to leave with was the importance of a daily meditation practice. I knew meditation was important and I had dabbled in it but I never fully committed. I don’t know about you but I often have to hear things multiple times in multiple ways before they stick. And so I left that training with my intention set…I would become a daily meditator. And I did! I sat each day for 365 days straight. It was perhaps the most accomplished I had ever felt about anything. I also felt great.

But as life would have it, I did not continue long term with such vigor. I never fully gave up but I had moments where my practice waxed and waned. I had a time where I was more focused on asana and that was a nice change. They are both important and I struggled to balance my time between the two. Also, dedication and consistency do not come naturally to me and so I really have to make an effort. Maybe that is true for everyone but the story I sometimes tell myself is that other people commit and achieve things easier than I do.

My recent dip in dedicated came when we moved back to San Diego. For whatever glorious reason (sheer exhaustion I think) I was sleeping in a lot more than I ever have before. And so my practice suffered. If I don’t sit the moment I wake, before I start other things, it just won’t happen. I felt bad about it (because I packed my meditation cushion and everything!) but I let my body get the rest it needed.

Recently I started a new job and I knew it would be an adjustment. Funny to think when I had all the time in the world I was sleeping in. But now that I am getting up earlier I am making time to sit. It’s so worth it! But I have to choose it each day. I can’t hit snooze or do other things. It helps that right now we are living in one room and my cushion is literally right off my bed. So I roll out of bed, sit down, set my timer and just be.

If you are thinking that you can’t meditate or don’t have the time I challenge you to acknowledge that it doesn’t come easy for any of us and that’s why we practice. Also, we make time for what’s important.

But this is about me and my journey, not yours. Although if you needed that extra loving push to get started or keep going…here it is! I am here to say that meditation has changed my life and I’m grateful for all the times and ways it has enhanced my practice, shown me life lessons and impacted the way I show up in the world. It sounds somewhat silly to say it has made me a better person but it’s the truth. Just sit friends. You won’t regret it. And make sure to forgive yourself and keep going when your practice lags.

It should be noted that there are times when a seated meditation practice can bring up too much and is not recommended. In cases of trauma or extreme emotional distress meditation should either be avoided, approached with extreme caution or done with the support of a trauma informed therapist or meditation instructor. There is a great book on this topic that I just read called “Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness” by David Treleaven. It’s a great read.

photo by Darci Fontenot

Rooster Call to Action

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We just entered the year of the Rooster in the Chinese calendar and what amounts to a second new year. I don’t know about you but it was comforting to know that new beginning are always possible. 2017 is off to a rocky start but the rooster is here to remind us that we have to speak up and take action. Wake up he says! Follow the direction of your heart and don’t become complacent.

In numerology 2017 is a 1 year which signifies the start of a new cycle. The messiness of 2016 can be explained (at least in part) by the mischievousness of the fire monkey and the conclusion of a 9 year cycle. Whatever we set the intention for in this year will continue to grow over the next 9 years.

1 is also the number of the Magician in Tarot and invites us to trust in our creativity and power to live the life of our dreams. We all have the opportunity to succeed in whatever we set our minds to. Believe it and then do it! This is not a time to sit back and watch.

The Rooster’s role is to confidently take care of the flock and ensure the future generation. The Magician, a true healer, sees the potential for magic in all things. Can we do the same even in the face of turmoil?

Dream. Crow. Create. Repeat.

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The Myth of Mastery

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This past weekend I had the pleasure of teaching my first Reiki Master class. I’ve been teaching Levels 1 & 2 since 2012 and I have come across so many wonderful souls on this journey. It is one of my greatest joys in life to share this healing technique with those who are interested. When I was young I wanted to be a teacher, mostly because I loved learning and I admired my teachers. And while my original intent was to be a school teacher, this role of teaching has morphed into many different things, one of them being sharing and teaching Reiki.

I knew in my heart I wanted to teach the master level at some point but I never felt enough mastery to justify it. As with most of the things I have interest in, I feel I could go a lifetime and not understand it all. Lucky for me the universe sent me all the right signs that I was in fact ready and to get my butt in gear. And so it was that I had the most beautiful weekend with 5 other healers on the path.

The thing I struggled with the most, was that because Reiki has been passed down over the years, there are variations on the teachings. I wanted to share the most authentic, closest to source information available but damned if I could figure out what that was. Usui (the founder of this kind of Reiki) lived long ago and there are not many people who truly know what he was offering. Especially since it is widely known that Takata, the women responsible for bringing it to the West, took liberties of her own. I agonized over what was right and what was wrong and second guessed a lot of it as I prepared for the training. After meditating, chatting with my Master and asking for guidance the message was clear “Teach what you learned, keep your intentions pure and your heart and mind open.” And the much needed reminder that this path of being a Master is not about knowing it all but about showing up to the practice and being dedicated to ongoing learning.

Did I know absolutely everything I needed to know? Not really. Did I have the most authentic version of the teachings? No one will ever know. Did I show up fully and share with my whole heart? Absolutely. And did my students learn something new that they can now share with others? You’re damn right they did!

The weekend was more than just about the Reiki Master teachings. It was about embracing ourselves just as we are, taking such good care of ourselves on a regular basis and answering the call to share as much love and healing with others as we can muster. That is true dedication to mastery.  And as the Dalai Lama says,

“The planet does not need more ‘successful people.’ The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds”

Reiki master class photo

Coming Full Circle on Love and Relationships

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This Memorial Day weekend I went to Kansas City to celebrate the 2 year anniversary of becoming a Reiki master. It was great to come back to the place where so much healing happened and to reflect back on all that has changed. As I prepare to teach Reiki 2 this weekend I am reminded of the path I took and the beautiful life that I co-created. I can’t wait to watch the path of each of my students unfold as well.

The theme of the second level of Reiki is healing relationships; it is the level of love. When I took level 2 in 2012 I set the intention to release a few things that I knew I was still hanging onto. It wasn’t until just before I embarked on my Level 3/Reiki master journey that I truly understood what that meant though. I realized I was having a hard time releasing expectations from a past relationship and got some guidance that if I was not able to release this I would not be successful in my current relationship. After a lot of tears and soul searching I had some more clarity.

My college boyfriend and I had expected to get married, have children and have a happy life together.  We made a lot of promises that were not kept and the break up was terribly painful. Of course anyone who has been through a breakup likely knows this story. The love is true, the promises feel real, and the end is awfully raw and scary. There was no part of me that wished we had stayed together because I knew it would not have worked but nonetheless there is still pain in any loss.

So, I did what any self-healing healer would do. I took the promise ring that we shared with one another and I buried it in the backyard of the place where we stayed in a releasing ceremony under the full moon. All the Reiki sisters gathered ’round and took turns digging into the hard earth until we had a hole large enough to drop in the ring that was inscribed “to my future wife.”  And then we stomped on the freshly dug earth. There may have been some whoops and howling at the moon also. I can guarantee you there was wine.

Since that fateful night I have let more love into my life than I could ever imagine. And as I arrived into Kansas City for the second time I couldn’t help but have a huge smile on my face as I looked at the new ring on the finger of my left hand. I buried a ring and all the energy that went with it to make room for everything I have now, including a new future husband. As for that past boyfriend and all of the experiences we had: I don’t regret any of it and wish him well. I just hope he is happy and learned as much as I did from the time we spent together.

I had hoped to have another full circle moment to share for this post but alas the universe had a different plan in mind. So I remind myself that if it’s meant for me it won’t pass me by.

To love and healing and burying shit in people’s backyards! photo (18)

Creativity and Collaboration

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Creativity and collaboration have been my words for 2013. They came to me as I was reflecting on the year 2012 and starting to tap into how I wanted to feel in the new year. I had no idea what it would look like but I knew I deeply needed both of these things in my life. The adventure that has unfolded has been an amazing one. I can honestly say I am glad I had no idea what a year of creativity and collaboration would look like. The best part of the journey is watching it unfold and if you had told me what I would do this year I wouldn’t have believed you anyway!

Creativity

My year started with my 30th birthday which I spent painting at a ceramics studio with friends. I used to do this all the time with a childhood friend but somewhere along the lines I became more and more self conscious about doing it right and not being artistic enough. I went to New Hampshire (my first ever solo travel as an adult) to take a workshop on playing the harmonium, which I have been doing ever since. I launched my own business website and starting blogging as well as moved into a new office space. I was featured on KPBS for the work that I have done with Laughter Yoga in the mental health system. My band had their first gig where I got to try out my leading lady skills; they’re a little shaky but it was SO much fun. I traveled in Ecuador for a month where I stayed with a host family and studied Spanish. To me travel is the ultimate in exercising your creativity when you do it right! I took additional courses in energy healing, meditation and angel card reading as well as taught my own Reiki class to a lovely group of healers. I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training with my first yoga teacher ever. I got upside down for the first time in my 13 year rarely consistent asana practice for some rad perspectives on life and love.

Collaboration 

I have connected with some incredible people this year and even when looking back on things that didn’t work out exactly how I had planned, I know that everything is perfect! I was fortunate enough to collaborate with several people through harmonium. I played in as many yoga classes and events as I could and loved the warm welcome that I received when offering to play and sing for folks. I navigated a move and some family drama with my partner that made us stronger as a team and made me love him even more. I joined a group of lovely women in a new moon healing circle and reveled in setting intention with group support and love.  I planned a therapy group with a dear friend and while the group did not take off this year, we created an amazing bond that has helped me beyond measure. We supported each other in building our businesses this year and laughed and cried about life and love. I also have been working with another sweet friend on creating a community for mothers and babies. This project also did not launch in the way we originally expected but we have kept the vision alive and I am fully expecting it to blossom next year. This friend has also been such a beacon of beautiful light in my life; she is always sending me lovely words of support right when I need them. This year also came with a letting go of a vision to create a non-profit and open a healing center with a business partner. Perhaps rather than a letting go, it has been more of a not now and not in this way.  I worked with some incredible women in my yoga teacher training and know that this just opened the door to the beginning of ongoing collaboration with one another.  It may appear that I had more failure than success in this avenue this year but for every project that fell flat, in it’s place is a mutually supporting, loving and nurturing relationship. And, THAT is what it’s all about.

I am feeling a little melancholy about saying goodbye to this year but I am excited to bring in 2014. My words for this new year are Power and Balance. I can’t wait to see how they play out!

photo (17)harmonium meangel card certphoto (16)

Ceremonial Magic!

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Moon

photo by marema/Shutterstock.com

I started following the cycles of the moon just within the last year or so. Of course, I always knew the moon was up there and would occasionally wonder if it was full based on my feelings or the level of stress and chaos at work. But, I wasn’t really paying attention until recently. What a beautiful thing to be tuned into! Now I can’t imagine not knowing when the moon is new and when it is full.  During this time of awakening and increased awareness I have been a part of many ceremonies surrounding the moon, other changes in nature, and as a result of other spiritual practices (yoga, energy work, chanting).  I will soon get to have the great pleasure of attending my first blessing way to honor a friend having a baby.

I have hosted new moon, full moon and solstice events and am also involved in an ongoing new moon women’s circle. I really love having this in my life and recently realized that this now seems totally normal to me.  I hosted a bonfire for the recent supermoon and we ended up sharing a fire pit with some young girls and one of their boyfriends. I brought some pieces of paper for a releasing ceremony and some flowers to send out into the ocean as a wish. I led all of my friends through this but also invited our new friends to join in. The girls were so cute and really got into it. They commented how spiritual and powerful it felt for them and wondered how I had ever thought of something like this. At that moment I realized what a gift it has been for me to learn more about setting intention, creating ceremonies and being more in touch with the magical qualities of nature. I felt blessed that I could share it with these young girls who no doubt will remember it in the future.

I did not grow up doing things like this and realize that perhaps not many others did either. Aside from church, which I did not grow up going to either, we live in a society where formal ceremonies tend to happen at birth and death with just a few moments in between; weddings, graduations, birthdays. I know there are some exceptions and personally know a few people who grew up honoring life and mother nature regularly, but as a rule we are fairly disconnected. And frankly, those who were more tuned in may not have talked about it for fear of seeming weird.  I now see there is room for ceremony in almost everything and hope that perceptions of this are changing. I have a ritual that I do before and after working with clients, when I wake up, when I am asking for something and when something bad happens to someone I know or to the world. Some of these things are simple and subtle, others are more more complex and involved. And others are just downright playful, like howling at the moon with my sisters; a personal favorite! I try to do all of them with love, reverence and gratitude. I can’t say that I have never been called a weirdo, hippy or even a witch because of it but I don’t mind.

Zsuzsana Budapest, who identifies herself as a feminist witch, offers this definition of a witch:

“A witch is a woman or a man who considers the Earth a living, breathing, conscious being – part of the family of the vast universe – to be regarded and respected as God herself. To be a witch, you have to see yourself as part of God, who is present in, not separate from, us and all living beings” (p57, The Grandmother of Time).

I don’t know about you but this does not at all sound like the witches that most people picture. This definition is beautiful to me and definitely falls in line with beliefs that I have come to understand.  I happily embrace magical ceremonies into my life and look forward to learning more and sharing with others. What ceremonies did you grow up with and how can you bring more magic and nature into your life?