Category Archives: Trauma

Yoga for Trauma

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I am a therapist and a yoga teacher and it’s very interesting to watch my two worlds come together. We are discovering that it’s hard to talk about yoga without including some aspects of psychology and the mind. It’s also exceedingly difficult to heal trauma without involving the body.

Next month I will lead my second 6 week series on Yoga for Trauma Healing. The interest has been high and the course is sold out. I am in the process of finding out a way to offer this on a regular basis to meet the needs of the community and because I believe in this work. I am also exploring how to make this more accessible for all who are interested in doing this healing work.

You may be hearing a lot of talk about trauma both in the media and in the wellness community. It’s sort of a hot button topic right now and there are good reasons for this.

Researchers are gathering more and more information about how our brain and body remembers, stores and processes traumatic incidents. The saying “the issues are in our tissues” is a quick way to illustrate what we are finding; the body never forgets. So it makes sense that the body oriented interventions are being proven most effective at targeting trauma.

As far as I am concerned, no one who is having a human experience will ever escape trauma. The definition is far more broad than most of us think and this means that we all have some level of trauma that we can work to heal.

I am grateful I get to hold space for individuals working to heal trauma both in this group series and in the individual work that I do with people. But, this also means that I have to be aware of my own traumas.

When I say all humans have some level of trauma, this certainly applies to practitioners supporting people to heal trauma too. Some of us have even more work to do so that we can be grounded enough to show up for others.

Another piece of the trauma puzzle that cannot be ignored is that of race and other social justice issues. As a white woman I have work to do in not only acknowledging my own privilege but also in recognizing all the ways trauma can present itself due to inequalities in our society.

I’m thankful to see the amount of discussion that is being generated around trauma but this also means we have to meet it with just as much if not more discernment. Listen to your own intuition about exploring this with a practitioner. Trauma work is sensitive work and should be approached with the utmost care.

Soul Work & Sacred Secrets

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People tell me their secrets. And I’m not talking about in a hushed tone or drunken state, although that has happened too. I’m talking about the fact that I get paid to have people tell me what they haven’t told anyone else before. It’s weird really and sometimes I have to remind myself that this is the path I chose. It is not a coincidence that I hold the seat of the therapist. It was all by design and I try not to take it for granted.

Just so I am clear here, I don’t think secrets are all that helpful. The weight of carrying around something that needs to be said but never has been is heavy. But, life is complicated and there are many messages from parents, partners and most of all society that tell us to keep things to ourselves. Also, sometimes it’s not safe to share secrets or people do share and they are not believed. This needs to change and luckily a movement to do just that is rapidly building momentum. Look at the power that all the women (and men) coming forward with their secrets is creating. It’s amazing and it’s time.

But back to the secrets I get to hold. It struck me the other day when I heard for the hundredth or so time, “I have never told anyone this.” I always tell my clients and try to remember this myself: any work that you do on yourself whether within the walls of a therapist’s office, a yoga studio, out in Mother Nature or with your nose buried in a self help book is SACRED. It is the greatest work of the soul to say out loud what needs to be said, look at old patterns that aren’t working anymore, teach your body what it means to feel safe, and learn to love yourself along the way. Sharing these secrets is part of this process. The hope is that telling me is the catalyst for the rest of the process to emerge.

In hearing these secrets I am exposed to some of the most fucked up shit (that is indeed the clinical term for some of the bullshit human behavior I have encountered). I am talking abuse, violence, and neglect sometimes on a staggering scale. There is also the response to these things that starts out as adaptive and quickly moves into unhealthy. The addiction, self hatred, failed relationships, anger, deep pain and loss of self.

But for all the secrets and pain, I also get to witness the reclaiming of power, sense of purpose and magic that happens when the secrets are out and the healing can begin. It’s a precious place to be in the world: holding someone’s pain while seeing the light at the end of the tunnel before they ever can.

And I’m certainly not saying I have all the answers and that coming to therapy is like sliding down a rainbow on a unicorn. It can be rough and tumble and we all have human moments which means sometimes I say the wrong thing. But there is always room for repair and if I can show respect, understanding and leave judgement at the door we are good. For the most part I can do that and I feel super lucky to be on this path with so many others. Sometimes all we need is a witness and a cheerleader.

These people, the one who tell me their secrets. While I can never tell you who they actually are, they are the people we interact with on a regular basis. The people we work with and see in the grocery store and laugh with and play with. Rarely do the people in their immediate vicinity know the depth of their pain. Which means this is all of us. We are all working through the muck that is life while trying to remember and notice the beauty.

It’s also important to mention that the “fucked up shit” I have heard about was often an expression of pain. The wounded wound others and the cycle continues until someone can name it and break it. None of it is ok but it’s a helpful stance when the eventual work is forgiveness. Not for them but for us. Because as MLK Jr. so eloquently stated “I have decided to stick with love, hate is too great a burden to bear.”

I’m not sure what the conclusion of all of this is. It’s not meant to be an advertisement for therapy although as a therapist of course I would advocate seeking support if needed. More than anything I think it’s about the human condition and that we are all going through something. There are days when the last thing I want to do is hold someone else’s pain while I am feeling mine so deeply. But in that reality is the comfort that while I am witnessing my client I can also be holding myself in the process. And that is why I know everything is as it should be and I am right where I need to be.