Category Archives: Yoga

Yoga for Trauma

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I am a therapist and a yoga teacher and it’s very interesting to watch my two worlds come together. We are discovering that it’s hard to talk about yoga without including some aspects of psychology and the mind. It’s also exceedingly difficult to heal trauma without involving the body.

Next month I will lead my second 6 week series on Yoga for Trauma Healing. The interest has been high and the course is sold out. I am in the process of finding out a way to offer this on a regular basis to meet the needs of the community and because I believe in this work. I am also exploring how to make this more accessible for all who are interested in doing this healing work.

You may be hearing a lot of talk about trauma both in the media and in the wellness community. It’s sort of a hot button topic right now and there are good reasons for this.

Researchers are gathering more and more information about how our brain and body remembers, stores and processes traumatic incidents. The saying “the issues are in our tissues” is a quick way to illustrate what we are finding; the body never forgets. So it makes sense that the body oriented interventions are being proven most effective at targeting trauma.

As far as I am concerned, no one who is having a human experience will ever escape trauma. The definition is far more broad than most of us think and this means that we all have some level of trauma that we can work to heal.

I am grateful I get to hold space for individuals working to heal trauma both in this group series and in the individual work that I do with people. But, this also means that I have to be aware of my own traumas.

When I say all humans have some level of trauma, this certainly applies to practitioners supporting people to heal trauma too. Some of us have even more work to do so that we can be grounded enough to show up for others.

Another piece of the trauma puzzle that cannot be ignored is that of race and other social justice issues. As a white woman I have work to do in not only acknowledging my own privilege but also in recognizing all the ways trauma can present itself due to inequalities in our society.

I’m thankful to see the amount of discussion that is being generated around trauma but this also means we have to meet it with just as much if not more discernment. Listen to your own intuition about exploring this with a practitioner. Trauma work is sensitive work and should be approached with the utmost care.

I Found God On My Yoga Mat

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I didn’t grow up religious. The rare church service I attended was with family or friends and it always seemed strange to me. We talked very little of God in my house. I didn’t pray. I knew I believed in something but it was not a well developed idea.

I found yoga when I was 17. It challenged me and made me curious. What was going on in my body and in my energy system I wondered. Why do I feel such bliss at the end?

I found God on my yoga mat in a Seane Corn class maybe 8 years ago. She asked us to call in the God of our own unique understanding. That was a game changer for me. I cried big alligator tears. Tears of truth and of love. I get to decide who God is to me? God was on my mat in that moment, God was in me and all around me.

A few years after that I went to New Hampshire on a whim for a weekend of kirtan (something I knew very little about) That first night I was moved the way I had seen people moved to tears singing hymns in church. This was a completely new feeling for me but it felt right.

There was such freedom in exploring a definition of God that transcended what I had been told. God didn’t have to be relegated to church or Bible stories. The word God actually made me uncomfortable for many years. I cringed when people mentioned God, religion or prayer.

Now I regularly seek divinity in all things. God can be found in the crispness of the early morning air, a beautiful flower or hummingbird. in the sweet kisses my husband gives me or in the sun setting over the ocean. And most especially on my mat when it’s just my practice, my body and the God of my choosing.

Off the Mat into the World training where I got to tell Seane (middle) that she brought God into my yoga.

Abundant & Held

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For the past 5 years or so I have chosen two words to represent my year. I actually do it intuitively, so I feel it’s safe to say the words choose me. A few weeks before the year they sort of just land somewhere in my consciousness (usually early in the morning, while I’m in the shower or some other quiet moment) And then I just get to wait and see how they unfold. I keep the words near me, in my car, on my altar, or in my phone so I see them often. Here’s how 2017 went down.

Abundant

Having enough and often more than enough was a theme this year. I started the year with an abundance of jobs. While it was helpful to our family and I was grateful for this, not all of them served me. It’s always a nice feeling to have enough of everything which I know is far from true for so many people. My husband and I and some friends of ours participated in the women’s march which was an amazing experience. It definitely included an abundance of people (across the world!) showing up for all the right reasons. When a nation elects a man who has so little respect for women and many other groups of people, it’s nice to see that we can fight back with our numbers and our passion. A huge accomplishment and act of abundance that occurred this year was that we paid off my husband’s student loans. This was a debt that was constantly nagging at him (those of you with school debt, or any debt for that matter can probably relate) and he often felt like he would be paying them off forever. It was an act of abundance to pay them and continues to give us abundance in other areas. To me a life well lived includes traveling but I know that this requires an abundance of resources. Many years back my then boyfriend and I opened a bank account specifically for travel and it has served us well over the years. This year brought a trip to Thailand to check in with my husband’s Chinese teachers, some local trips near the Bay Area, back to San Diego to see family, Texas for a family wedding, and a summer trip with my mom (I LOVE our weekend getaways). I am also so grateful to have access to an abundance of amazing trainings and the ability to take part in them. This year, I took a three day training in Somatic Experiencing and Yoga which landed right in my soul and represented the work I do exactly. I finally got to take the 5 day leadership training with Off the Mat, Into the World, which has been on my list for some time and was able to make time for countless other local trainings (mostly yoga related). I am a hungry student always seeking knowledge and I am so lucky to be living in a time and place in the world where I can access information so readily. I also led full and sold out trainings, workshops, circles and retreats and got to join the Conscious San Jose movement through free summer meditations and teaching at the first annual yoga and music festival all of which were a great joy. To me living with the concept of abundance means that we truly trust that there is enough to go around for all. I try to practice this by not grasping at what is not mine be it students, income, jobs or opportunities. If it is meant for me, it won’t pass me by.

Held

Admittedly this is a sort of funny word to choose but as I am unpacking it, I realize how perfect it is because it holds so many meanings. To have or keep, to reserve or retain, to bear, sustain or support, to keep in a specified state, to engage in, to detain and to keep from action. To me it also feels like a hug, a softness and a warmth and maybe a kick in the butt sometimes too. I have experienced many different versions of this in 2017. I have been held in so many community spaces this year. My women’s circles and podcast community, the yoga studio and the group practice where I work and all the beautiful people I met and connected with in my teachings and trainings. I feel so nourished and held by some amazing and supportive hands and hearts. I felt so held in my practices this year. I actually spent less time sitting and more time moving which was lovely. I spent a lot of time with my favorite teacher Elena Brower on YogaGlo and in her Elevate Mentorship. The two years prior I was fortunate enough to spend time with her in person but the online community for which I am plugged into has been very nourishing and has lovingly encouraged me to hold the seat of an artist. I held another new role as clinical supervisor in my work and that was an extremely fruitful experience for me personally and professionally. We also celebrated by being held in a sweat lodge ceremony after my supervisee passed her licensing test. That was an exercise in facing the fear of claustrophobia and the unknown (spoiler: I didn’t make it the whole time but I’m so proud for doing it!). And sometimes to be held is to be held accountable and I found that this year as well. My husband had to sit me down and inform me that I was not walking my walk when it came to being kind and loving towards all. I was getting wrapped up in the hatred for our elected officials (one in particular) and finding comfort in unkind words and comedy at the expense of others. That was a harsh truth and I cried hot tears of acknowledgement and then made an effort to unfollow some pages (sorry Trevor Noah) and watch my language carefully. My husband and I had to hold ourselves accountable when we did not speak up against hatred towards another group. This was a huge lesson and one that did not go unnoticed by us. I furthered this self inquiry in my training with Off the Mat, Into the World where I sat for 5 days being held by the reality that I have more privilege than most. It had me asking how will I be more engaged and of service. It is my job, at least in part, to hold a little more weight in this world simply because I can. I have been held in so much joy and just as much sadness. I found unbridled joy in the embodied practices of singing and dancing, lunches with my husband, travel, nature and time with friends and family. I continue to be held in the sadness of waiting to grow our family, the state of our world and the unimaginable suffering people are enduring daily. I was held in the limbo of anesthesia for a small surgery (so trippy to my adult self since age 5 was my one and only time being under), and held by those things that were not meant for me this year. Through all of it I tried to hold onto hope that even when it seems dire or when nothing makes sense, we are all held by each other and the fact that we are separate but intricately connected. And that ultimately, we are all held by the Great Mother herself.

2017 was far from perfect but I take great honor in not only living this life but also taking the time to acknowledge the journey, the path and the lessons.

It’s funny because I usually don’t waver when my words come to me but this year I am struggling. A few weeks back Clarity and Transformation came through so I wrote them down and then a day or so after that I wrote (Nourishment?) next to it. This morning I drew the butterfly card so I know Transformation is where it’s at but do I want a crystal clear path or do I want to feel cozy and supported along the way? I’ll have to sit with that but I think I know the answer. May your 2018 bring all that you hope for and more. It’s the year of the Dog which I recently learned is me…I always thought I belonged to the year of the boar but because I’m a January baby, I fit in the cycle before my birth year.

My best nine from Instagram @jesalyneatchel

My best nine from Instagram @wildishwisewomen

Grounded & Fertile

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My words for 2016 were Grounded & Fertile. I choose them ahead of time (or rather I think they choose me) and then I see how the year unfolds. I find this practice to be a wonderful way to reflect and set intention. Time is a funny thing and this post serves as a timepiece for my year and all that it has held. End of year rituals in any fashion are a sweet way to say goodbye to this year and usher in a new one.

Grounded

As a Capricorn, staying grounded is in my bones but at the same time I can find myself in the clouds if I’m not careful and conscious. Easily my biggest accomplishment in regards to this word this year was my meditation practice. I got consistent with it for the first time ever! It was a wonderful journey and I’m so grateful. I was excited to share with others as well but both my weekly meditation offering and meditation workshop were not well attended. With this particular “miss” my takeaway is that it was more about cultivating my own practice than sharing this year. In addition to getting more grounded in my meditation practice the Universe majorly tested my foundation when my husband left the very job that brought us to San Jose. It was not in our plans and it shook us both pretty hard. I know my practice was preparing me for that moment. Figuring out how to stay grounded when the earth beneath you becomes unsteady is the real practice. I got to practice that again with the results of the presidential election. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary this year and were reminded again and again about what it takes to be a team and how lucky we are to have each other. And we went camping for the first time in our relationship. We also explored some fun hiking spots getting grounded in nature. I taught the Reiki master level class for the first time and find that this practice as well as the students who show up are my constant reminder to stay grounded. My women’s circles continued to grow this year and I found the times I was leading those to be when I felt most grounded in my body and in my life purpose. I also took the seat of therapist once again which requires a great deal of grounding and presence.

Fertile

While it is by no means a secret, I also don’t share much about the fact that my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for several years; longer than I ever imagined it would take. I hope to write more about it one day but for now it’s just too painful and I often find commentary from others (however well meaning) is rarely helpful. I really did think this would be the year and so it was not a coincidence that I chose this word for 2016. And while unfortunately this was not the year I would conceive a child, 2016 proved to be amazingly fertile with ideas, inspiration, experiences and projects. I started a podcast and recently got it on iTunes (hooray!) as well as created a separate website for Wildish Wise Women. I hosted packed women’s circles and invited friends to co-facilitate with me to share their gifts. I lead my first yoga retreat with some wonderful women. I shared much more of my yoga life on social media via a few Instagram challenges including one I co-hosted. Some articles I wrote were published online and I got to share my love of the chakra system in a monthly series at the prAna store in Palo Alto. The community that I continue to co-create in my new home is rich with wonderful people. My husband and I hosted a gathering in the Spring and we had our first annual Friendsgiving. In addition to teaching several Reiki classes of all levels, I also invited people to a Reiki share night on a couple of occasions. The healing energy that is created when people come together to raise the vibration is so ripe with possibility. I let my body be a canvas in my first ever body painting experience. I traveled to China and experienced not only a new culture but also a powerful healing practice. And I got 2 new jobs and was reminded of the fertility and flexibility of the career I chose.

Of course there was a lot of darkness to 2016; it was NOT an easy year! My grounding was tested many times and I know it’s not the last time. I plan to stay dedicated to my practices as much as possible and look forward to 2017. My words for the new year are Abundant and Held. Wishing you all that you hope for in 2017!

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My best 9 on Instagram – apparently naked photos get more likes 😉

Meditation 365

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I did it! A year of meditating every day.

I woke up this morning so so excited…like a kid going to Disneyland. I got my butt to my meditation cushion and felt an immense amount of gratitude. I have showed up for myself again and again and it has made a huge impact.

It hasn’t always been easy or ideal but each day I made a commitment to cultivating more peace and to making time for stillness. It’s the greatest gift I have given myself.

And I find that when life feels rough, meditation is the first thing I want to do now. Not to bypass the emotion but to let it wash over me so it can slowly dissipate. Elena Brower, my teacher and inspiration in all of this, says it’s like inviting the house cleaner over each morning. Meditation sweeps out the dirt life throws at us leaving our hearts polished.

My absolute hope is to keep up this practice but I also know that gentleness and forgiveness is part of this journey. 365 days of devotion to self-love and self-care is a foundation that I know will continue to serve me. Adding in a second afternoon/evening meditation and creating more space for the physical practice are my hopes for the future.

Breath. Softness. Opening to Love. Commitment. Practice. Stillness.

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Svadhisthana Sweetness & Body Paint Delight

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When I was in high school I had a friend once say she wished she could have some of my bravery. I have always been pretty bold in saying what’s on my mind and doing things outside the box. Not brave in the jump out of a plane kind of way but in the tell your crush you like him to his face, travel to developing countries and take all your clothes off and let someone paint you kind of way.

Yeah, that last one…I just did that. The yoga studio where I teach is an incredible community of visionaries and our studio manager created a mash up of yoga, chakras and body paint. I knew very little about body paint and had certainly never had it done myself. So, clearly I jumped at the chance.

The night started with a yoga class taught by me focusing on the chakra of the month, the sacral chakra. It’s all about fluidity, creativity and emotions. Governed by the moon and water, it’s feminine in nature and relates to our sexuality.

Then we moved onto the painting part of the night. I had arrived prepared with my nude panties and nipple tape but my painter was no where to be seen. I started feeling pretty disappointed. Nathalie who organized this event and has been painted many times said “how about I paint you?”

And so she and other members of the community stepped up even though they had never done anything like this before. It was the sweetest team of enthusiastic and interested friends. The artists and models from the Human Art Collective were amazingly supportive and welcoming as well. I had so much fun!

It felt great to be doted upon and painted. I was struck by how normal it was to have someone painting my bum, under my breasts and inside my belly button. There was a meditative quality to it as well. One of the painters agreed it was for her also. She shared that she found herself syncing her painting with her own breath. It was its own kind of yoga.

Here I was practically naked in the studio where I usually teach yoga very much clothed. And yet I felt so comfortable in my body. It briefly occurred to me that my belly was much rounder and my breasts much fuller than the other models (who had all done this previously). Even though this thought crossed my mind, I really wasn’t doing a lot of thinking.

During the couple of hours that I was being painted and then photographed I felt very much in my body. It was such a pleasurable and memorable experience. One I will not soon forget. I loved being painted but I loved even more how it all came together.

And then just like that it was over. One minute I was feeling fully embodied and confident, the next I was sitting in my bathtub covered in coconut oil while my husband scrubbed the paint off my back. Such is life with all its ups and down. So perfectly imperfect.

Yoga class

Yoga class

Loving it!

Loving it!

Finished product

Finished product

Nathalie and I

Nathalie and I

Photo by Ronald Nelson Photography

Photo by Ronald Nelson Photography

What’s with All the Goddess Talk?

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I recently had a friend tell me they would like to accept the invitation to be on my podcast but that they felt removed from the Goddess thing, and so maybe it wasn’t a good fit. I lead Goddess Circles, the podcast title includes the word Goddesses and I regularly refer to women in general as Goddesses. So, what is with all the Goddess talk?

I think each person who identifies as a woman is also a Goddess. And not just when she is looking beautiful and acting feminine by traditional standards. The energy of the Divine Feminine, also known as Shakti in the yoga tradition, not only represents us as women but also represents the universal energy all around us. Shakti is what drives us to be passionate and loving beings on this Earth. Shakti is creativity and expression. Shakti is wild and free. It is in us and we are a part of it. This balanced with the masculine energy of Shiva makes us whole and complete.

The Goddesses of Yoga, as in most other traditions, includes women who turn heads with their beauty but also those who are fierce warriors, devoted servants, nurturing mothers and wise crones. They represent different aspects of ourselves and our life stages.

Living as a Goddess means that you believe each and everything you do is connected back to the Divine. It’s not to say that you are only being Goddess-like when you are dressed in your favorite outfit or have your hair done nicely. You are a Goddess as soon as you roll out of bed and even if you look a mess or feel like you don’t have your life together. There is no separation from the mundane and the Sacred. Everything is Sacred. Each one of us is Sacred.

By leading women’s circles and sharing the podcast my hope is that women will connect into the energy of their inner Goddess so that they feel beautiful, worthy, loved and valuable. The more each of us becomes an expression of the Divine Feminine allowing our inner Goddess to shine, the more others will feel permission to do the same. And the more the men in our lives will also show up as their Divine Masculine self.

Please remember that you are a Goddess in each and every aspect, stage, phase, and moment of your life. When you walk, talk, move, dance, sing, cook, make love, cry, scream, yell, curse. It’s all you, it’s all beautiful, it’s all you as Goddess.

Om Aim Hrim Klim Chamundayai Vichaye Svaha – I learned this mantra with Sally Kempton and Shiva Rea. It invokes the mother Goddess and asks for her presence and inspiration as well as for her to remove any obstacles in your way. Mantra is often known as the “body of the Goddess.” Chant this for power and connection to your inner Goddess.

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Spiritual Hygiene – Just do it!

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I brush my teeth every day…at least twice a day really. But somehow I had convinced myself that I didn’t need to meditate every day. I told countless stories in my head about how I could still be spiritual, a good yogini and healer even, without a consistent meditation practice. It’s not that I didn’t try. I had periods where I got my butt to my cushion several days or even weeks in a row. But, it never became a daily routine I could keep.

I would be lying if I said that I am stellar at being consistent with anything. I struggle to keep healthy habits, like many of us I imagine. I had a period in my life where I juiced every day for close to two years, one of my best streaks to date!

Today, my 90th day of meditation in a row feels pretty sweet. Three months is a solid effort but it truly feels like a habit now. I felt validated about how far I have come this past weekend when I attended the Yoga Journal Live! conference. Friday morning I went to the guided meditation and I found myself wishing for more silence. The facilitator was, I suspect, just trying to make it accessible for everyone but she guided just a little too much for me. I was yearning to just be with my own thoughts. It was a pivotal moment.

Just to clarify, the goal of meditation is not to clear your mind of thoughts. That is an impossible task that would leave all of us feeling like failures. Meditation helps clear out the junk that life throws at us with the simple goal of more peace and a deeper connection to self. There is also a ton of research out there about how helpful it is on a mind, body and spirit level. Even the most skeptical can’t argue with the research about the many benefits of meditation.

I don’t find it easy all the time but just like anything in life, practice really does make better. And I have to say I feel more peaceful about a lot of things. I specifically noticed an area in which I would normally react, and most recently did not.

I totally understand if you are thinking meditation is not for you or if your mind is finding all the excuses. I have been there and I can’t promise I won’t end up there at some point in the future. But just for today, I am happily sitting for 20 minutes each day when I wake. It makes me a better wife, friend, teacher and human in general.

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Faith and Flow

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My words for 2015 were Faith and Flow. I choose them before the year starts without much of an understanding of how they will play out. I allow them to unfold organically and trust that I brought them into my awareness for a specific reason.

Faith

I got married this year. And as much of a beautiful experience and wonderful blessing it has been, it did take some faith on my part. Faith that marriage was going to work for me, faith in myself and in my partnership. For me allowing marriage into my life has been a long process that faith definitely played a part in. This is the first full year I have spent away from my hometown, family and friends. We moved up north at the end of last year and a lot of faith has gone into accepting this as the right move for my little family. I have to practice faith in my husband to be the provider; he makes it pretty easy luckily. We received a notice to move out just after getting back from our honeymoon and had to hold faith that we would find a great new place in time. We definitely did and are so much happier in this new space. But there are the things that haven’t fallen into place quite as easily, It’s the disappointments and unanswered prayers that require even more faith. 2015 did not bring everything I had hoped and it requires practicing constant and ongoing faith that all is happening in perfect timing.

Flow

I just love this word! To me it is a state of mind, body and spirit and where I am connected to my highest self. It is somewhere I want to spend more time but a place I find somewhat fleeting. This year I found my flow teaching yoga and reiki, creating and delivering a yoga and psychology themed workshop, leading women’s circles and taking some amazing trainings. I flowed with more singing and dancing this year both on my own and in my circles. Aligning my flow with nature is something I explored more both at home and during some fun travels. I flowed into my new role as wife and primarily stay at home wife, or Domestic Goddess as we call it at our house. I had moments of flow in my own yoga practice and flowed into a new dedication to a daily meditation. Flow was my state when planning and setting intention for some awesome things for next year. To me flow is an organic state that we must allow although some planning doesn’t hurt as long as we stay flexible. Like seaweed anchored to the ocean floor, flow allows us to move freely while being grounded in our truth.

My words for 2016 are Grounded and Fertile.  I have some ideas of what I would like to see but I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds. Wishing you a prosperous new year with so much love and light.

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My best nine from Instagram are a pretty good summary of 2015

Art of Attention

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Earlier this week I got to spend three days with Elena Brower in her Art of Attention Teacher Enhancement Module. She first came onto my radar about 5 years ago at Wanderlust in Squaw Valley. It was clear she was bringing something special to the table and I have continued to follow her and be inspired by her work. I know I will be unpacking the wisdom that she shared over the coming weeks, months and maybe even years but here are some of the stand out gems.

Throughout the three days Elena returned again and again to the simple but profound idea that we have to practice what it is we are seeking. If we want more trust in life, learn how to trust ourselves. If we want to become better teachers, be better students. If we want those around us to act a certain way, lead the way as the example. If we worry about others judging us, stop judging others. If we want abundance in our lives, give abundantly. Remarkably simple but monumentally profound.

Cultivating our own practices was of utmost important to her. What we share with others we must first do ourselves. She implored us all to get serious about our meditation practice and make it a non-negotiable part of our daily lives. I’ll be the first to say my meditation practice is inconsistent at best. I know the value of it and I have periods – sometimes even fairly long ones – where I am very on top of it. And then something gets in the way.

Writing at least one blog post per month is one of the few promises that I have made to myself and actually kept. Keeping a journal is another. I have been consistent in sharing something with the world each month for the past 31 months. It feels good and I am proud of myself. But there are too many other promises that have been broken and frankly the stakes are high. My daily practices determine how I show up in the world and ultimately my overall happiness in life. As Elena put it, “our happiness is our service” and so I recommit to my meditation practice first and foremost. 20 minutes of sitting each day to clear out the accumulation of hurt, doubt, fear, sadness and shitty thoughts.

My gratitude runs deep for some extremely potent teachings that have been passed on to me from Elena and many other gifted teachers. These gifts are largely unwrapped but not yet fully appreciated. They come together over time like pieces of a great puzzle. Sometimes duplicated but always fitting a little differently. I commit to diving in each chance I get so that I can always share from a place of experience.

Elena and I

Elena and I

Art of Attention family

Art of Attention family