I was thin from the time I was a child into early adulthood. My mom worried about me when I was young because as a picky eater I ate very little. It seemed as if I might whither away if I ever got sick. My whole life I was told I was “skinny” and as I got older I wondered why it was ok for people to label me like that when it was not acceptable to tell someone they were fat. We never had a scale in my house but when clothes are often too big and you can take your jeans off without undoing them; you know you are skinny. I didn’t need anyone reminding me. And, I was never trying to be thin. It just happened.

It was surprising to me when my friends talked about how they wanted to be thin like me. Even more surprising was how negatively they talked about their own bodies. It happened many times throughout my youth and I often had to remind my friends that they were fine just the way they were. I don’t remember this message being overt from my mom, but I always knew I was enough just as I was and she instilled that in me. It definitely made it easier that I didn’t mind the way my body looked. I had many insecurities as well although I often tried to hide them knowing you were not supposed to feel that way. I never liked my stomach – even when it was flat. And I had just resigned myself as a lifetime member of the itty-bitty-titty-committee. But deep down I knew that the ultimate goal was to love your body.

So it took some adjusting when I started to fill out in my mid-20’s. My stomach was no longer flat but with it I got some hips, a booty and bigger boobs. It wasn’t so bad at first but then the self-criticism started to sneak in as I compared myself to my former self. I would pick the wrong size to try on in stores and then get disappointed when items didn’t fit. “Oh yes” I would have to tell myself “you don’t wear that size anymore.” I would notice an unflattering angle in a picture and want to delete or re-take it. And for the first time I thought about diet and exercise not for mere health reasons but to monitor and control my weight. That was a new concept. I never placed restrictions on myself for body image reasons. I became a vegetarian for the animals and I knew exercise was important for your health because my mom taught Jazzercise most of my young life.

My husband recently took a photo of me in a yoga pose and while I thought it was a nice picture, I didn’t want to share it because in it my stomach is rolling over my pants. Never mind that these pants likely would not have fit me comfortably a month ago. I’ve been detoxing from alcohol and sugar for 47 days as of today and as a nice side-effect have lost some weight. I couldn’t tell you how much though because I still do not own a scale. So, even though I have dropped some weight, I was quick to criticize myself in this new body that I am still adjusting to. I have internalized my “skinny” label and reconciling this with reality is an ongoing endeavor.

You are enough! Whether you are fat, skinny, tall, short, have a busty chest or itty-bitty-titties, a flat stomach or one that rolls over your pants, a gap between your thighs or ones that rub together, junk in your trunk or a flat tush. Whether you can fit in your high school prom dress or you are twice the size of your younger self. Whether you wear a double zero or a double digit size. You are enough just as you are! This message is for me, for you, for anyone who needs it. Say it out loud, write it down, and feel it deep inside yourself in any way you can.

This does not mean that you make no changes to your diet or exercise regime. But instead practice doing it out of love instead of out of a desire to change yourself into someone you would like better. This is the only body we get and it hardly seems helpful to hate it into being what we desire. Love your body just as it is and nourish it in a way that creates an opening for radical self-acceptance.

I know not everyone is as lucky as I have been in receiving positive messages from both my parents, my husband and former partners about my body. My husband tells me and shows me on a regular basis how beautiful he thinks my body is and my dad was the one who enlightened me that a flat stomach didn’t make any difference to guys since I had tits and ass to go with it. But the body loving has to come from within. We each have to love ourselves outside of anyone else’s opinion. It may not come easily and it may take constant practice but it’s imperative that we work on it each and everyday. For ourselves, for the children in our lives and for the health of this world. I am enough! You are enough! We are all enough!

2000

2003

2006

2011

2015